Home Care and Assisted Living in MD

Shopon

My wife diagnosed with moderate AZ in 2019 at the age of 55. I am the only caregiver for last 40 months. Cleaning, Bathing, Feeding, Exercise etc All done by me. Try to do everything to keep her happy. I am very tired and lonely now. Only relieve I get when cry to GOD at night by myself.

She does not qualify Medicaid. Any advise to get a supplement insurance to cover home care (now) or assisted living care (in near future). Financially I can not afford in full at this moment. I do not have long term care insurance. Should I move another state which might be better than MD? I am so lost. 

M1

Have you consulted an attorney?  Medicaid for long-term care is different than "regular" Medicaid.  There is an attorney on the forum (crushed) who lives in your area, hopefully he will see this and respond.

Welcome to the forum by the way.  We all get it.  Sorry for your need to seek us out, but it's a good forum.

​fesk

Others will come along with specific advice for your question. 

Are there any day programs in your area that your wife could attend that would allow you to have a break? Is there an Office of Area Aging you can contact or a volunteer organization in your area that provides caregivers?

I am sorry you are going through this. 

ButterflyWings

Hi and welcome to a very good caring, and understanding group of experts -- all because we are living the same sad story as you. Dementia is a terrible disease and we help each other by sharing ideas, encouragement, and experience with solutions.

As M1 said, this is definitely a topic Crushed has posted about before. He also is an EO spouse (early onset of dementia at a young age) so will be able to relate so much to what you have been through and what is ahead.

I am not an attorney and even though I was in my mid 50s when things started to really go downhill for my DH, he is 20 years older than me so it was not Early Onset. I say all that because I think maybe your DH's age might put her in to the category to be eligible for Social Security disability income since she has been diagnosed, and due to her relatively young age. Maybe you already know that. But it would provide more resources if so, for her care. 

You have been doing a great job but as we all know it only gets harder. I am right there with you trying to get help as 24/7 caregiver for this heavy, heavy load.

Shopon

Many Many thanks for such a wonderful reply. I feel little light out of this forum. DW is getting her disability benefit since 2020. Her Medicare is started last year.

Everything is new to me. She does not qualify for Medicaid due my asset etc.

I am hoping get some home care benefit for her.

How do I find good attorney for her to qualify Medicaid?

God bless all.

Stuck in the middle

I found my attorney  through the local chapter of the Alzheimer's Association.  The AA invited her to make a presentation at a support group meeting, and I hired her.  In your case, you could call your local chapter and ask for a referral.   In the alternative, your county Bar Association can probably refer you to a CELA.

I know nothing about MD, but your asset would not disqualify her in MO.  Ask your CELA.

MN Chickadee

Insurance and Medicare do not cover any long term care unless you purchased specific long term care insurance which she would never qualify for now. Find an elder law attorney or attorney who predominantly practices in elder law and estate planning. They will be able to guide you on how to best pay for her care/qualify for medicaid and protect you as the spouse at home and the house or other property you may own. Each state differs in rules so you need an attorney licensed in your state. In some states Long Term Medicaid covers some care help in the home and/or care in a facility. You can also google "Long term care medicaid 2022 ______(your state)" and get a feeling for the rules. 

You sound very exhausted, understandably. I would also connect with the Alzheimers Association, either through your local chapter or call the help line. 1-800-272-3900. They have social workers who specialize in dementia and can point you to resources. The service is free. 

Are there any adult daycare programs in your area? That was a godsend for us when my mother was still at home. It got her out of the house for a chunk of the day to give us caregivers respite. They were able to accommodate all needs and issues associated with dementia and kept her active. In some states it is covered by medicaid, but even paying out of pocket tends to be cheaper than hiring someone to come to your home. 

​fesk

Shopon, you can do a search on Certified Elder Law Attorney. 

There's the National Elder Law Foundation website that has information and a page to search in your state. The website is https://nelf.org.