Finally, a win

M1

Got this this morning.  I had a tough weekend, but i can take the separation as long as I know she's okay:

Good morning!  Great news!  S. has participated in EVERY activity offered on Sunday and Monday!  Yesterday she was shouting out the answers for trivia, enjoying the afternoon movie and singing along to some songs!  Ariel (the program assistant) said on Sunday S. played bowling, did some puzzles, painted, played Pictionary and participated in our cardio workout!  I thought she was talking about the wrong person at first but she did the same thing yesterday!  We were so happy to see her having a good time!

Light at the end of the tunnel?  Let's hope.

Marta

Great news, M1!

How are YOU doing?

Best to you. 

Ed1937

WOW M1!! That is W.O.N.D.E.R.F.U.L! So glad for you. That light at the end of the tunnel must have been blinding.

ButterflyWings

M1 - That's great news! Every day may not be that way, but now it clearly shows what's possible and likely going forward. Outstanding!

And ditto for what Marta said - how are you doing? I know you got your tractor back and sounds like some germs from a precious grand...but otherwise hoping you can get some R&R and maybe personal time with friends that isn't focused on urgencies with your DP now that she is safe and sound thanks to your truly heroic efforts. 

You are building a brave new life for you both and we are hoping it includes loads of joy just for, and about YOU, though I know that is a process. Not nearly there yet myself but I am starting to do the virtual vision board so I know how to make, or at least allow it to happen. I know it is important to take care of me too, though it's not intuitive just yet. AD is doing such a number on both of us. Gotta put some time into caregiving we CGs too! 

Buggsroo

Yay yay yay

I am so glad your partner is starting to acclimate to her surroundings.

I hope this means you can visit her soon without the argy bargy that you get now. Fantastic.

I know the farm is hard work but sometimes that proves a real tonic. I have embraced my clean freak and enjoy it believe it or not. My husband seems to like going to daycare so hopefully your partner will embrace her situation.

toolbeltexpert

M1 I am soooo glad that there is some progress. Also glad your not having to isolate although as a caregiver it feels that way at least for me. Thanks for your opinion, I did have to go to the hospital to get the results? At least they have her dpoa now. Don't know why the doctors office doesn't  have the results. I know there isn't any conclusions but it's ruled out a lot of stuff.

M1

Well I spent most of Saturday mowing, at least got the fields taken care of (about 57 acres that are mowed, the rest are in native grasses and timber).  Lowering the water in the pond so that the spillway can be fixed later in the summer (omg I dread that estimate, big time).  Lost a chicken and a duck--the chicken to old age and the duck probably to a bobcat.  Gloomy mood lasted most of the weekend, shed more than a few tears, but feel much better today with that good report.  And yes, mild virus from the granddaughter kicked in yesterday, so I'm sheltering from the heat today and just popping out to water here and there.  The asparagus has played out, but the first beans, squash and eggplant are coming in, and there are a few blueberries if I can keep the birds out of them.  Funny how each year is different, this year I am going to have eggplant out my ears.

So  much for the farm report...I'm okay.  I am contemplating how to move forward.   Not sleeping much, which I think is just pure grief.  I am seeing the granddaughters more, and that's good.  There's still a heck of a lot of covid around here, so group activities still don't appeal right now.  I feel the isolation, but I can tolerate it as long as I know she is settling in.   And my dog buddy Riley--my partner always said I'd be glad he was were when she wasn't, and she's right about that.

I can figure it out as long as I know she's okay.  And I have you guys.

Joydean

M1, I just read your post and before I thought I was shouting “thank you Lord “! My dh nearly jumped out of his chair! I’m so very happy for your dear wife and for you. I could just see her calling out answers. I know you have to be excited to finally hear some good news!  Hope armed with this report you can rest knowing she is okay. 

Garden sounds great. I have tomatoes bigger than a hamburger bun, lots of onions, cucumbers and cantaloupe are starting to make. Have other vegetables but those are the ones I’m excited about right now. Lots of jalapeño’s too! 

Hope the rest of your day good and you feel better with the virus crap. I think your news has been a blessing to many of us, thank you for sharing! 

Stuck in the middle

So glad to hear this, M1, for your sake and for hers.  God bless you both.

jfkoc

sooooooo relieved for you!

billS

M1 that is fabulous news. We have such fear that they will reject placement so when it works out it really lifts that burden. The first time I got a report from MC staff a few days after placing her, and the report was that she was engaging in activities, talking to people and accepting care, I broke down into tears of relief and joy. My your wife continue to thrive.

Joe C.

That is great news! I hope the progress continues.

ImMaggieMae

M1, that is wonderful news! I bet it won’t be long before you’ll be able to visit without all the drama. I hope she starts putting her things that are packed in boxes by the door back in their places in her room. Maybe the caregivers there could nudge her in that direction? But it sounds like the past couple days have been a huge win already. I hope you are feeling a little more relaxed. This has been a rough road for you.

Scooterr

Hey it's always great to here good news from caregivers. M1 after your rough weekend you sure do deserve some positive news plus your partner interacting that's makes it even better. Funny thing you said you lost a chicken we lost one too yesterday. I think it was a coyote.

Jeff86

Thrilled for you, M1.  You were way overdue for good news.

Pam BH

Woohoo!!!!!!  That's wonderful!

M1

So I got a few more updates at the support group meeting tonight.  Nothing major, not a large group.  But here's what I learned:

Everybody on the staff loves her.  No surprise there, she has true charisma and always has.  

The staff agree that her triggering on me is likely not to change until she progresses.  Sigh.  They say to keep trying anyway.  Still have to figure out how to do that.

She's not unhappy when I'm not there.  She has made one friend-also an exit-seeker--and they prowl the halls together looking for ways out.  She even made herself written notes to try to get one of the staff key cards that open the door.  Sheesh.

Loves helping and directing--no surprise there either.  But it does sound like she is engaging in more activities.  

She thinks she is in Texas most of the time now.

She is still needing to take breaks when her back hurts her.  Good to know, because she tells me that it hasn't been hurting.  But apparently she just forgets that it does.

No progress on letting anyone unpack her room.  Not one whit.  

I still don't know where we go from here.  It's two months today.

Jo C.

So glad to hear that S. has been adapting to her setting sufficiently for her to join in activities and become a "volunteer" helper; that is a great bit of news and sure can imagine how good that made you feel.  Had to smile at her detailed written plan to get a key card - a woman with a plan for sure. 

I wonder; next time you visit, would it be helpful if the facility can permit it, if you brought her a couple of tomato plants to put into the garden, or perhaps a few small pots of flowers that grow well and withstand heat . . . too bad there is not an area large enough for zucchini - the gift that keeps on giving and giving and giving.   From what you have written, she does seem to love putting her hands in the dirt to grow things.

What a blessing to finally receive some positive news.  I do understand how lonely your home is and how much she is missed, the heart feels what the heart feels; she is blessed to have your care and advocacy.

J.

Pat6177

M1, I’m so glad you got some detailed info today. And that much of it was good news. Hang in there!

White Crane

Dear M1, I'm thrilled to hear some good news about how S. is acclimating!  And I know it is a relief to you.  Still holding you both in prayer.  Hugs.

Brenda

Ed1937

M1, I see a couple of things there to be thankful for. Take them as wins. It seems as though as she gets more involved with activities or just helping out, the sooner it will be before she really becomes comfortable. We're all pulling for both of you.

toolbeltexpert

M1 I get that she thinks she's in Texas and it isn't going away. I am glad she is feeling a sense of purpose that can only come in that type of setting. We can't do that at home. I know it will get better and from the sounds of it you have plenty to do. I just happened to see a video on Facebook of a guy whose neighbor complained about his pond flooding his yard. The guy with the pond was very receptive to helping his neighbor. You sound like your taking preemptive action and lowering the level is a good move till you can getter done. I have a spring fed pond right off our creek. Only about 30 feet across and 3 feet deep. It is my quiet spot in the woods.

David J

M1, I’m glad to hear your report! The participation in activities is BIG!  My wife can’t sit still enough to participate in activities, and she speed-walks the halls looking for a way out. She has worn out several pairs of shoes and walking partners on the last nine months. Count your blessings!