At a crossroads/late stage Venting

sweepmore

So after our horrible screwup with respite care (see previous post on it if interested) mom contracted COVID.  She was in the hospital for 5 days.  I now have it.  She developed DVT with numerous blood clots in her legs.  The very caring doctor asked me if I wanted to purse working on the clots in her condition.  Wishfully I said yes (even though she is a bear to take meds).  Now I am second guessing myself.  Eloquist is $500 with insurance.  My mind tells me its time to stop the fight.  She has become negative, angry, combative, cursing (never heard her say a curse word till now) and is not making any sense.  Her calves, ankles, and feet are really swollen.  She is also sleeping alot more now.  I have been taking care of her in my home for 4 years.  I plan on setting up an another appointment with the new Hospice team next week when I can get a negative test.  Funny though I am the one who is sick (along with my dog) and I am taking care of everyone else.

mommyandme (m&m)

I’m so sorry you are sick and worried.  A big decision on whether to treat or not when you’re feeling poorly too.  Such an emotional roller coaster.  When I read the beginning of your post I thought to myself would I treat? Then I read on about the meds etc… My mom is prob later stage but I don’t think I would. Yuck, hard to think about.  Anyway, maybe since your first intuition was to treat, go ahead and give it a try.  If it’s not working out, for whatever reason, stop.  At least you know you did what you felt was right at the time and might not second guess yourself later.  Maybe that’s where you’re at now, ready to stop. It’s not a failure if you do.  Her comfort is most important. I wish your comfort was high on the list too.

sweepmore

Thank you for responding.  It helps to hear another one's perspective.

CatsWithHandsAreTrouble

I'm so sorry to hear that you're now sick along with the dog after that frightening ordeal with the respite care gone wrong. I hope that both of you can have a safe and speedy recovery so you can get a real break and be able to focus on getting the right care for mom.

Our 19 year old cat got sick around the same time my mom did in February. The cat couldn't be healed totally but it could be managed if given time and care, but it would have only prolonged the inevitable. She was a great cat, if a bit loud at times, she was going deaf and blind. My sister and I knew that we couldn't take care of her and our mom. Also, I had the pain of the sudden loss of my cat to seizers years ago in the back of my mind and I didn't want my sister to experience that with hers. When the vet suggested a peaceful passing, we took it.

It's such a relief that we only have one cat to take care of now, who is young and healthy, so we can better focus on caring for mom. I hope that things will work out for you and your family and that if you have to come to a tough decision, that you can make the best choice and not regret it.