News(1)

French

Dear all,

I still come here sometimes to have news from you. I miss you, but it also saddens me to read how most of you struggle. You are very courageous and I admire you.

The beginning of May has been very complicated but I held on. 2 weeks after my visit and the medication change, things began to improve. There is no more violence nor crying. The nigh are still very short bu manageable. One night he went outside naked (it is in an hotel, imagine), and he was sent to the psychiatrist again, but hopefully, nothing was changes because the caregiver explained he went out naked because he soiled his pajamas, put it off and went out to have help.

The caregiver tells me everything is fine now. The only difficulty is that he continues to pace so much, He even crosses the bushes.  And now it is very hot outside. He is going in the swimming pool but doesn’t swim anymore. He also fell in the pool while pacing because he doesn’t watch we’re he is going. 

When I call, there is no more discussion, he is not able to stay on the phone. He doesn’t manage toilleting at all now, and speak less and less, and when he does, it is very difficult to understand. They begin to feed him.

The other good news is that his oldest son has been there (everything paid by his father) for 4 days and really spent time with him. This time he realized that the disease is advanced quite far. He told we he will go again, but didn’t gave dates, I hope he won’t wait 5 months this time.

 The youngest son will go next week.

After my last visit I was very shaken and spent time with the therapist (a special one for caregivers in an association ). We concluded that I should stop trying to compensate the absence of his family and just take my share of the load. So I decided I will call every 3 days and go every 3 months. I feel much better now. I begin to live again.

Sincerely 

Ed1937

French, thanks for the update. It sounds like you've had some bittersweet moments, like some others here. It's good to hear from you again. Take the sweet moments, and consider them as wins. I hope you have many more of them. Just do whatever you have to do to take care if yourself.

M1

Very glad to hear from you too French, I've been wondering how you were doing.  Please stay in touch when you can.  I'm sorry he's declining--inevitable I know but still sad.  Hope you and your kids are okay.

ButterflyWings

Dear French - we miss you too! I was feeling the saying here which is that "no news is good news". You are truly a wonderful caregiver and dedicated partner. This is the best report possible given the darned illness. I am glad for all of you, that things are the best they can be under the circumstances. Wishing you and your children well.

Stuck in the middle

I am glad you are adjusting to the inevitable, French.  Best wishes.