MC day time activity?

Colt99

 Currently in the process of reviewing MC facilities to have a plan B ready.  To be honest I was not totally repelled but actually could see DW fitting in. DW is currently at stage 6c/d.

We also frequent the county senior center for lunch and DW especially enjoys it when they have music events.  I asked a MC manager if we could attend a music event as a day time activity at the MC facility. He agreed and we are set up for 2:00 tomorrow. He will meet us and escort us to the event.

Is this a good or bad idea? What if she has a negative reaction? Will that make placement (future) even harder. Now I am having second thoughts.

Advise please.  Thanks

Ed1937

Hello Colt. In my opinion, that was a good move on your part. She will likely enjoy the music, and that would give her a positive view of the place. When you go, just mention that you're excited about going. Keep a positive spin on it, and you'll do okay.

RPR

As a musician who, for 8 years, up until COVID hit, helped entertain many MC and AL clients in several Sr. Communities around the area of Tucson, I can say with 100% certainty that the golden oldies my trio sang and played, for those who attended our concerts perked up and even joined in singing with us many times, which we encouraged them to do. I will never forget the time a gentleman suffering from Alzheimer’s accompanied by his wife surprised all of us. How? While we were singing a rather upbeat song, the wife was tapping his arm and as I watched from where I was playing the piano, saw him start making movements that imitated a drummer’s movements, all in rhythm with us. After the concert, we always went around and greeted those who attended and I rushed over to the wife and asked her if her husband had ever played the drums. She told me he used to play with a traveling rock band as their drummer back in the early 70’s and this was the first time since he had been diagnosed that he had reacted to any music in this manner. I told him how much I enjoyed watching him play the drums and he gave me a blank stare. I honestly don’t know think he knew he had done that. 

Many others who attended our concerts came in slumped down in their wheelchairs but as we continued to sing and play, they started to sit up, with some singing along with us.

My DH is in mid stage Alzheimer’s and I have him singing in my Sr. Church choir. He is still able to read notes and sing in tune with his bass voice. Our Dr. was delighted to hear he was singing in my choir because it is helping to keep certain parts of his brain active. For how much longer he will be able to do this, only God knows. 

So having said all this, I truly believe music has a very positive influence on those with Dementia/Alzheimer’s.

Joe C.

Colt, I understand your apprehension because I had the same thoughts before I placed my wife, but in hindsight I would have taken her to activities pre-placement. Like your wife, DW enjoys music so I planned her drop off at the MC to coincide with a music event. When we went in a staff member walked her into the activity room while I finished the paperwork and when I checked on her so was totally engaged, singing and smiling. Based on that experience I believe she would have been fine if I took her to these events pre-placement. These day DW can often be seen dancing around the room when she is at one one the music activities. She does not engage in the exercise activities they have but if they put on music she is up and dancing.

ButterflyWings

Colt- Wise to have a Plan B ready. It’s a good way for you to experience the MC outside of a marketing tour, also. I can see why you might be a little worried about maybe setting up a precedent that she goes home with you after the concert, since at some point, you want to come and go while your DW stays onsite. Seems like the others with LOs in MC are encouraging you to go for it. 

RPR- Welcome, and what you shared...my goodness. Awesome!

Joe - I can just see your DW dancing up a storm. She probably lifts the other residents’ spirits, and staff too!

Ed - I hope your DW continues to settle in and that you get to visit soon. So good that you have found a lovely place for her and such supportive adult kids to visit and report back.

Ed1937

ButterflyWings wrote:

I can see why you might be a little worried about maybe setting up a precedent that she goes home with you after the concert, since at some point, you want to come and go while your DW stays onsite. 

This is why this site is so great. We might have 10 or 12 people who agree about something, then someone else offers something new to consider. Often there is no right or wrong, only different perspectives to help others make good choices. Thanks, BW.

Marie58

Colt99, you know your wife best and if she likes music, that is indeed a good time for a visit. 

I can share my experience with my DH. I had narrowed down my MC search to 2 facilities. The one I was leaning towards had a day program (pre covid) that I started taking DH to for a few hours 2-3 times per week. He got to know the staff, the residents, and the routines.  And so did I. He was already to the point where he didn't speak much or engage in many activities, but he participated at some level. When it came time to place him I think it was easier for him as he was familiar with it and the people. I also liked that the staff got to know him when he still had some of his  true personality left. They really liked DH and one even said she hoped I'd place him there if/when it was time. I worried about him waiting for me to pick him up at 3:00 as he seemed to have an internal clock for that when at the day program. (I'd often find him near the door when I arrived to take him home.) But it was never a problem. 

If you decide to go, hope it's a positive experience for both of you. 

Colt99

 Well, we attended the music “event” and I would say it was a success. It was actually held on the assisted living side of the complex rather than MC side. I still think it served its purpose for a first-time introduction to such an environment. About a dozen residents attended – all positive and welcoming. Entertainment was a guitar playing, karaoke singing guy with good sense of humor. 

Thanks to everyone for input and encouragement. RPR, I agree with you about the positive influence of music. Marie what you describe is exactly what I am searching for but no adult day care in the vicinity.

We will see if/how this progresses. DW’s comment in parking lot “when are we coming back?”

Ed1937

Consider that a huge win! I hope you have many more.

Joydean

Colt I am so glad your dw enjoyed the music and wants to go again. It’s a good beginning.