Very dysfunctional family with no support

crazy4horses

Hello, I am new to the group and have a very difficult situation. I have spent the day reading posts and am glad to see some commonalities with others. No official diagnosis but my mother hits almost every symptom. Very likely Parkinson's with Lewy Body dementia. My parents are very dysfunctional with a horrible marriage. I was always the scapegoat. Last year my mom's dr. encouraged her to move to a one-level place. My dad refused to move from their multi level home. My mom has a history of falls. I finally talked her into moving, spent months moving her and realized how much assistance she truly needs. She constantly forgets and mismanages her medication, can't remember anything you tell her an hour later, etc, etc. After a few months I was already on burn out, no help from my brother or dad. I begged my mom to hire someone to help but she refused. I ended up finding out she was lying about me to my father, my brother and her counselor. She told my dad that hiring a divorce lawyer was all my idea (obviously not true) and even told her counselor I was forcing her to buy stuff. Her counselor knew my mom was lying but told me that he could potentially have to report me. She has also lied to my aunt who believes that I am "doing things to my mom", her words. Long story short I am no longer involved and my mom has cut me out  completely and I have also walked away for my own mental health. She did have a neuro psych eval but she will keep it a secret and the dr.'s are not pushing anything. My controlling and OCD father has talked my mother into moving back into the house with all of the stairs where she has a history of falls. He doesn't want to pay for a single level place for her even though they can afford it. He doesn't help her with her meds even though he knows her cognitive state has declined. She got mad at me for helping her with her meds, she got mad at me for helping with almost anything. Sadly, my relationship is over with both of my parents. Not that it ever was a great relationship. But the hardest part is how she has treated my children. She has left nasty messages for my daughter. We have had to completely end our relationship. Currently my hands are tied and I there is nothing I can do. I did make a report for adult abuse to the county but they declined to investigate. I am currently seeing a counselor myself to deal with the craziness. Thanks for letting me vent.

Krimpet

I’m so sorry you are going through this and all you were trying to do is help. It’s good to know you’re seeing a counselor to help cope with it all. Sometimes family can be so selfish they don’t see the bigger picture. I came to the community today to try and find some inspiration because I’m really down, my aunt is declining and now my family is calling me getting on my nerves but they refuse to help me. They are so dysfunctional and reading your post let’s me know that I am not alone and that a lot of times we have to walk away to preserve ourselves. I know it’s alot sending hugs

CatsWithHandsAreTrouble

Oh my! I'm so glad you've found a place here with us and I am so sorry that you've gone through all that drama! I'm also glad that you sought out counseling to help process all this turmoil.

My heart goes out to you and your family. ((Hugs))