Refusing to eat and sleeping all day.

GSC

Hello everyone,  

It's my first time here.  I am feeling frustrated.  My grandfather is refusing to eat and sleeps all day. I know as dementia progresses it will only get worse.  Wondering if there is any way to get him to eat and stay awake.  I've been sneaking in boost in his coffee, but he's still losing weight and getting weaker everyday.  How do I avoid being upset when he refuses to eat or refuses to get up in the morning to have breakfast?  How do caregivers manage to keep their emotions in check?  Any advise is welcome.

Thank you,

GSC

numb

Hospice would be a great help for you. They have been wonderful with my husband. I have learned not to push food, he'll eat when hungry. Consider smoothie drinks and sweets. My hubby is living on Uncrustables PB and J sandwiches.

Stuck in the middle

Welcome to the forum, GSC.

If your GF is losing weight and strength, he is losing muscle due to inactivity.  If he doesn't want to get up and walk around, I know of no way to motivate him to do it.  Giving him food he will eat is good, but won't reverse that process.  If he won't exercise, you will have to accept his progressive weakness.  

I let my wife sleep when she is sleepy and feed her when she is hungry.  Eggs, fruit and toast are just as nutritious at 2 pm as at 7 am.  Needing lots of sleep seems to be a part of dementia.  

I keep my emotions in check by means of the Serenity Prayer.  I pray for the courage to change the things I can, the patience to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference.

Accept all the help you can get.  Hospice was a blessing for my mother.

Olly_Bake

Sorry that you are feeling frustrated. But oh my goodness it is a frustrating, understatement, journey. Dad also sleeps almost all day now and goes into a deep sleep. But between 6 and 9:30 in the morning, I can get him to do and help with just about anything (eat, meds, and change). After that, it’s slim on all fronts.

When he could not eat, the home health nurse suggested I offer Gatorade. The thinking was the sodium would at least make him naturally thirsty and then we could try to provide water. 

Now he is on pureed foods and I’ve added premier protein shakes under the advice of the speech therapist because he too is now way underweight. So now I give whatever he will accept including junk like graham crackers and fig Newton with five ounces of milk or water or the protein shake. Going to give the Uncrustables PB and J sandwiches a try if I can find them.

Believe me, the portion size is way down but I just keep offering. If he accepts, it is a win and if he does not, I try to leave it within reach and pray it does not end up in the bed or on the floor or offer later if I see he is awake on camera. I have a bowl (size worn off now) but that is all he can handle now in one setting. For example a bowl of mashed potatoes and gravy in that bowl and 5 ounces of water at a time.

How do you avoid being upset? I can’t answer that because I still get upset but have to remember what is going on. So I say a short prayer - Lord help me, serenity prayer, count, walk away, put music in my ear, rant to someone who will listen ((sorry DH and teens). Like yesterday, I was giving him water to drink. Since I managed to wake him up out of that deep sleep, he thought I was giving him water to rinse his mouth and spit the water across the room before I could get to a pan.

I have also found trying to keep him up does not work, trying to do the light therapy did not work, so I give up.

When mom was here she stopped eating and refused food (turned her face at everything). The doctor ordered a swallow study. He found the food was getting stuck and put her on puree foods with liquids for every few bites. He also put her on megace if I’m remembering the name correctly. Not everyone agrees with appetite-stimulating medicine. But we were like if it works fine and then if not fine.

Stuck in the middle: Eggs, fruit and toast are just as nutritious at 2 pm as at 7 am. Needing lots of sleep seems to be a part of dementia. So are mashed potatoes and gravy for breakfast.