Venting(4)

AnnMB

I'm venting today as I need to. Not for sympathy but to just let my anger flow out of me.

DH has had some bad days -- delusions, anxiety, stress and anger. He hits a point where he gets so wound up that he has IBS like bowel movements. This morning was the morning for it to happen. And I almost lost it in more ways than one.

His first trip he plugged the toilet and didn't know what he had done. I'm sure he used 1/4 roll of Costco toilet paper. The 2nd trip he didn't get his underwear down and there was a mess. I was dealing with him and a plugged toilet. I was a bit touchy and may have said something that upset him. Just saying the toilet was plugged would be a trigger. The trigger was I told him to stand up so I could deal with getting his clothes off.

He told me to leave him alone, to leave the house, move out and it went on. I quietly cleaned him up and started to plunge the toilet. I have it almost unplugged. Then I have to clean the bathroom which I had just disinfected. I am taking my frustrations out on the plunger at the moment. I won't take it out on him as it is the disease not him that made this happen.

This isn't the time to put him in adult diapers. He manages well using the bathroom and I clean it daily and disinfect it regularly. This morning both of us are tired due to the heat and humidity and not sleeping well. He was upset about the garden and anything that was worth complaining about. It happened and we move on.

Thank you for letting me vent. I'm off the venting stool and ready to finish plunging the toilet and disinfecting the bathroom. Wish me luck on surviving this nasty job. My sense of humor will prevail when I'm done.

PS - I got 2 hours of respite yesterday and visited with a friend. It was nice to talk about quilting and sewing and crazy things we've done in our lives.

Ed1937

We can understand why you needed to vent. Get it out of your system, and maybe feel just a little better. You said "PS - I got 2 hours of respite yesterday and visited with a friend. It was nice to talk about quilting and sewing and crazy things we've done in our lives." Things like that are exactly what is needed after a trying day like that.

AnnMB

Hurrah!! I got the toilet unplugged.  Found the secret to doing it fast. Turn off water and empty the tank. I had plunged the toilet so there was no water in it. Pour a good squirt of dishwashing soap into the bowl and add 4 cups of boiling water. Wait 5 minutes and plunge good. It worked like a charm. You may have to do it a couple of times. The dish soap breaks down any fatty material in the drain and it moves it out quickly. Bathroom needs to be disinfected and I can shower. Phew!! what a morning.

DH is delusional this morning. Wandering around the house and looking into everything. I need to get him to nap while the laundry is on. The pantry won't get done today. It will wait for another day -- the toilet couldn't.

toolbeltexpert

Ann vent away, you've got so much on you. Hoping for a beautiful sunshiny day for you. Thanks for the tip on the toilet, I never thought of that

ImMaggieMae

That happened here two days before Christmas in the upstairs bath and Christmas Day in the downstairs bath. The first time he put some dirty Depends in the toilet which luckily didn’t go down because the toilet was too clogged with toilet paper. I used a plunger and went to the hardware store and bought a plumbing snake after cleaning him up. He was confused about the whole thing. I never thought of dishwashing soap. That’s a good idea. I just used disinfecting sprays after. I pretty much lost it the first time it happened. Not good behavior for him or me.

We (my sister and I) always follow him into the bathroom or check before he flushes. Repetitive trips to the bathroom have become a thing during the day, so that’s our main challenge these days. He has been wearing incontinence underwear since this last Nov. Even with all the trips to the bathroom, I don’t think he can usually tell when he has to go. Thankfully it is mostly always urinary.

jmlarue

You're a superstar, Ann. Don't ever allow yourself to think you're not. It's wonderful that we have this safe place to vent our trials and tribulations. At least we know there are others who've been there and done that and won't try to placate or diminish our frustrations over it all. My DH also suffers with delusions, anxiety and anger. I just finished venting about my hellish weekend and all I can say is, thank heavens he's not incontinent and plugging up the plumbing. We all have a breaking point and I'm afraid that would be mine.

(Great tip on the plunging front. I'll try to remember that - just in case)

David J

Ann, What a trial! When my wife was home, we had several similar incidents, including a waste blockage and backup into the basement. I bought a toilet auger which cleared anything in the toilet, but the best tip I got was on this forum: Before flushing, break up the feces with a stick. Sounds gross, but not as gross as plunging and augering. 

Dave

Joydean

Ann, wow what a morning! Hope you had a better afternoon. I would never have thought about the dish soap , thanks for that tip.

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AnnMB

Thank you everyone for the ideas. One big issue is he flushes before I can check on him. It was only when he had the accident did I realize the toilet was plugged.

Once I got everything in order, we went out to get cat food. Not before he told me he wasn't going as he can stay home alone. So I asked him to come and help me get the cat food. He did and started to relax. He had a short rest before lunch and a good hours nap after lunch (I napped too). When he woke up, he was fine. He had lost the better part of the day though it ended on a good note. What was interesting was how high functioning he was after he had had the nap. He was remembering things and was talking about how good the garden was. I took advantage of that.

He woke up this morning in the same state of delusion and anger. He has been nasty with me already and I know it is the disease and not him. He has been wandering around inside and out and is ready to have an argument with me. I refuse to bite as he just wants to push my buttons and make me angry. When that doesn't work, the pain comes in his arm.

We have respite for 3 hours today. I have to grocery shop as the stores will be closed July 1 (Canada Day) which is suppose to be the next respite day. I have no plans for Friday except to have a nice dinner. Today, I hope to sew some after shopping. I need to have my time so I can be prepared mentally for what it could be like this afternoon and tomorrow. I will fill the car with gas so we can go for a drive if necessary. I'll take him out for ice cream if I have to. If we have no respite on Friday, I will be thinking of things to do with him. I doubt if we will go to family's for dinner as they don't need us around if they are having friends over for a BBQ at their pool.

Here's hoping I can get DH to nap again this afternoon. Wish me luck.

Joydean

Ann, I hope you both had a good nap! Glad today was better than yesterday,