Ques. on getting a diagnosis

crazy4horses

One of the things I've been struggling with is the lack of a diagnosis. I had my mom into a neurologist 2 times last year and they were just beginning to diagnosis her with Parkinson's. I believe she has Lewy Body Dementia. I am new here and posted recently about the dysfunction in my family and that my mother sees me as the bad guy now and has cut me off as an emergency contact and the dr.'s can't speak to me anymore. My father literally does nothing. My father did take my mom for a neuro psych eval in April but my mother is in denial and will hide any diagnosis from the family. At what point will the dr.'s finally get the family involved to help her and push for more assistance? She has NO support from anyone in my family.  I was the one doing it until she started having delusions that I was doing "stuff" to her. How do I get the dr.'s to see how bad things are? I had been trying to communicate with a patient advocate last Jan, Feb until my mother told them they were "not to speak to me under so uncertain terms".

SusanB-dil

Hi crazy4horses - Welcome to 'here' - so sorry you are dealing with so much.

It sounds like your mom has anosognosia, which is not 'denial', but the firm belief that 'nothing is wrong'.  Since she perceives that 'nothing is wrong', she sees no need to go to a doctor, and anything you try to do will be seen as some type of sabotage of her life.  If it is dementia, there is no need to try to reason with her.  That would only cause more frustration for both of you.   However - can you talk more with your dad?  Since you do not have the POA, nor HIPAA permissions, there isn't much you can do at this point.  You can send a note to her doc describing your concern, but they would not be allowed to converse back to you.  Do you think you could convince your dad to do more?  Any other family who could help you convince him?

crazy4horses

SusanB - I have suggested help and resources for my dad to no avail. My family is very dysfunctional and my father is a narcissist who only wants to hoard his money. He will not move even though her dr. wanted her out of the multi-level house because of her history of falls. He would not even buy her a shower seat last year...I had to buy it. He won't even help my mom with her medications even though he knows she regularly forgets them and mixes them up. I just keep hoping the dr.'s will finally determine that she's not capable of making her own decisions and somehow the county may intervene since my father won't do anything. My brother lives 2 1/2 hours away and also won't do anything. Very frustrating.

SusanB-dil

Yes - that is frustrating!  

Unfortunately, without being POA, not sure just how much you can do. I know, you don't want to wait for an emergency before your dad does something.  But you can tell her doctors that she isn't taking her medicine properly, but again, they will not be able to converse back.

Someone else may weigh in with other suggestions, but you can call the Alz help-line -  1-800-272-3900