M1, Thinking of You

Jo C.

Hello M; I have been thinking of you and wondering how you are doing and how things are going; it seems time has flown so fast and yet seems frozen in some ways.

Hope you are well, do let us know how it is going.

J.

M1

Thanks Jo. I wish I had good things to report but I dont.  My partner remains agitated and upset and exit-seeking after 2.5 months in memory care. I have not actually seen her in almost a month. I am attempting a visit on Tuesday-am taking lunch-but am not optimistic it will be any different. She still has her room packed up, won't settle, and has been refusing to participate in group activities because of frustration with some other residents with repetitive behaviors. So yes, it feels frozen. I am still working on hiring a one on one companion which might give her a little more flexibility in what opportunities she has, but no success as yet.

So from my perspective it remains pretty bleak.

Joe C.

M1, I’m sorry to hear that your struggles with placements continues. I wish I had some suggestions I could offer but I do not. Hang in there.

Ed1937

Oh, M1! I'm so sorry things haven't softened for you a little. I know everyone has their own problems, but I know you have to be in a lot of pain. I wish there were something I could say or do. You and your partner will remain in my thoughts and prayers.

Sligo177

M1,

I'm sorry it's so hard for you, you have done the best thing for your LO.  We can hold hope each day that it gets better, but remind yourself she is safe and she does know that you love her.  Take care of yourself.  I'll be facing this very soon. 

Jo C.

Gosh M; I can imagine how awful this must feel after 2.5 months.   I so hope despite the dynamics with your partner, that you are able to find some degree of peace within yourself; you have done so much and left no stone unturned.  You went the distance and thensome and are still striving so hard to make things as good as can be under the circumstances and challenges as they continue to exist.  That is all one can do at such a point.

Sometimes, because she is remaining so connected, I have even wondered if your partner may have a different diagnosis for type of dementia.  A form of behavioral FTD comes to mind, but that is probably not what is present.  She is still so connected on multiple levels and yet so affected, it is just curious.

I hope that somehow, Tuesday turns out to be a decent visit; all you can do is try.  Sending best wishes your way for your visit.

J.