Stuck in time

Dawn MB

OMG, I just downloaded Jennifer Ghent-Fuller's "Understanding the Dementia Experience".  My issue of mom being stuck in a 1970's anger was completed explained!!! Memories disappear from newest to oldest.   People with AD often have memories that only go up to a certain age.  So my mom now often only really remembers up until about that time when she was approx. 30 years old. This was a time when her mother was alive and living with us.  She asks all the time "where is mom?".  She tells me how pretty I am and wants to know if I am dating anyone (those days are long gone for me LOL).   As for the anger?  This was a time when my father was often out playing pool and drinking with his buddies.  I'm sure he did much more that I'm not aware of.   He had not yet grown up and the arguments they had were infamous! Those I remember vividly.   Of course, he did grow up and became a wonderful husband, father and provider.  That wasn't until their late 30's.  Since she often only really remembers up until that time frame, she is indeed "stuck in 1970's anger.   This is the most amazing read and is downloadable.   I sent it to my father, but I am not sure he will take the time to read it.  I will, however, be discussing it in great detail with him because now I see how we should be responding.  Thank you Jennifer for helping me see and understand what is going on in my mother's brain.

jmlarue

Dawn - It's a strange new reality, isn't it? I'm glad that I had read that information before the major regression in time occurred. It still came as a shock when my DH did not recognize our sons. After an hour-long visit with his dad, my DH looked the oldest son in the eye and asked, "Who's your dad?" About a week later, DH began repeated questions about when the boys were going to be coming home or simply, "Where are the boys?" I finally managed to catch the drift that his memory had regressed in time to when our boys were teenagers - about 25 years ago - and he was expecting them to walk in the door to have dinner or head to their bedrooms to do their homework. Presented with these two grown men with kids of their own in tow, he simply could not make the connection.

SusanB-dil

Hi Dawn MB - this is very common.   agree with jmlarue - this is a whole new spin on an insight to their reality.

MIL about a year ago, she 'knew' this was 2010 and Clinton is president.  That it was 2021 and there have been several other presidents since is totally science fiction.  (Not quite sure what year she thinks it is at this time.) One evening she was totally confused and started yelling at me, because although she is sure I belong with her son, she couldn't figure WHO is this person in MY house reminding me to take medicine??  (We believe she was thinking of DH late wife) She thought we were not married (because I was the 'incorrect' person), and we reminded her that she was at the wedding... "remember?"  The 'mood switch' flipped and she grinned, as we got "Oh, yes, yes!"  Asked her where we were married (since it wasn't a building, we thought she might remember we were married on a beach) - gotta give her credit for sure - she stated "If you don't know, I'm not telling you!"

My mom often asks if I have any kids. My daughter is a nurse with one of her own. They stopped by to see my mom, and with granddaughter sitting right next to them, asked my daughter if she had any children... Then could not remember daughter's husband name - kept referring to him as 'the husband', and then finally configured they had a very young child, but did not know who 'this child' sitting there might be.  Mom simply couldn't place her because her memory is just not there to remember when she was born, let alone she is older now, so she wasn't quite sure who this child was.  She has referred to my daughter as my name.  Since she looks a lot like me, mom just figures it must be me, right?!  Yes, mom has gone 'backwards' in time.  In her mind she thinks: I am her sister, my daughter is me, and her daughter is her granddaughter, not her great-granddaughter...    This makes much more sense to her mind, than reality.  We just go with the flow.  ~sigh~

Adding: this is also why a PWD may think there is someone else in the house... They will not recognize their 'older' self in a mirror.

My grandmother also would get distraught thinking she had to get her younger siblings ready for school, and couldn't find them. Would sometimes mistake my brother for one.