The driving issue

MaryG123

Thanks to your wise guidance, my DH and I had a fruitful discussion about his driving today.  He drove me into town to pick up our car from the repair shop, and I asked him if he’s gotten lost or confused while driving.  I haven’t noticed any deficits yet, and he said he hasn’t either.  I said that at some point he may have to stop driving and not to worry because I’ll take him where he wants to go.  After a long silence, he agreed that the time will come and we’ll deal with it together.  Then he asked me if I thought he’d still know how to ride a bicycle.  Of course I have no idea, but told him I’m sure he will.  “Then I’ll get an electric bike,” he replied.  We both laughed and agreed that it’s a good plan.  I felt so much better after having broached the subject, and am so pleased about his reasonable response.  Thank you all for encouraging me to talk to him about these things before it’s too late.

Ed1937

I think it's good you had the talk. Just don't be surprised when the time comes, if he doesn't give you a hard time about it. Giving up driving is really hard.

DorisEmma

Of all the difficult issues I have dealt with, given up driving was not one of them.  Just before the Covid shutdown we ordered a new car that came in June 2020.  It has lots of features the previous car did not have.  I believe it allowed my husband to bow out easily from driving.  I drove it home. He followed in the older car.  Following me may be the last time he drove.  He never drove the older one until we gave it to our daughter, kept saying he would someday drive the new one but he never took the steps to do so. The extra key is in the lock box.  I am happy that you had a nice conversation with your husband about driving.   I agree, do not be surprised if he changes his mind or does not remember what he promised.  While driving has not been an issue for me, changing his mind and not remembering are constant issues on other matters.

Soul Mate

Early on it was apparent that DH was having trouble with driving.  He insisted on a no talking in-the-car policy so that he could totally concentrate on what he was doing.

Luckily at a local medical center I saw a store that had a driving test car simulator.  It looks a little bit like a go cart with a steering wheel.  He agreed to take the test, thinking that he would have no trouble passing it.  We agreed that the test would be the deciding factor.

When he didn't pass that test, he then wanted to go to a local driving school and see what they had to say.  The gave him a battery of tests on a computer and then took him out in a real car to test his skills.  Again, he failed but true to his word graciously gave up the keys.

We did get him an electric bike.  He rode that all around town for a few years until he started having problems with his sense of direction.  Then he voluntarily called it quits.  Luckily during this time we had moved to a senior community with a pool and other activities and so he had lots to keep him busy.

I am so happy that we didn't have to have a stand off about the driving issue.

MaryG123

That’s very encouraging Soulmate.  Thank you for sharing!