Peeing in public

Kenzie56

Twice now DH has dropped drawers and peed in public.  Two weeks ago, we were invited to go for a pontoon ride with the grandkids and our daughter. After the 1 hour ride, DH stood on the boat slip and peed in the lake in front of the grandchildren and others at the dock.  We pointed out the portable Jon to the kids and made sure they went, got Dh in the car and drove home. I was surprised and made a note to always ask if he has to go to the bathroom every 30 minutes or so.  He went 2-3 times before we got on the boat, so I thought 1 hour would be fine.  This morning I had to take one dog to the vet.  I made sure DH went to the bathroom, got the dog and DH in the car and dropped off the dog. On the way home I noticed I needed gas, so I swung by the station.  DH said he needed to go to the bathroom. (He points to his belly and says "water out"). I told him we better go home then...he said no, he can wait.  I knew better...but started pumping gas anyway. I looked up and saw him standing next to the car peeing! I had him get in the car. On the way home I just gently said "You can't pee outside". Of course he said he didn't pee and I let it go. Is this a sign that incontinence is around the corner?

Jo C.

How very difficult this must be for you; I can only imagine. No way to tell what is around the next corner.  He is aware when he has a need or wants to go, and since he has lost his filters and ability to use adequate reasoning and judgment, he is managing his need or want in the way he knows at those points in time. Of course being out on all that water may have been a stimulus for the bladder signals.

One thing I would do, since his need to void seems to be a primary dynamic for him despite having had him void prior to the "events," would be to have him checked for one of those "silent" urinary tract infections.  (Other thought - has he had a prostate issue before all this began happening?)  I would also take a look at his meds and check for their side effects to see if that may be a causative factor.

Wonder if the need is urgent for him or whether it is a "busy" thing he is doing just because.  If it is a "just because" issue (after having him checked for infection or other physical issues), there are clothes that can be purchased at Buck and Buck catalog that look just like regular clothig but they actually close down the back. 

Let us know how things are going,

J.

Ed1937

Sorry you're dealing with this. It has to be hard. Jo gave you some good possibilities. Do you think it might be a good idea to have a portable urinal in the car for him in case it's needed? Since he knows when he has to go, my guess is that it is not the beginning to incontinence.

LosAngeles

My LO has recently started doing this - or tried to, that is (we were walking the dog and he started to go into a neighbor's yard- I asked why and he tugged at his waistband- we hurried home as our house was just about 4 doors down & avoided a Situation). He has been having accidents lately where he knows he has to go but gets confused about what to do and isn't pulling his pants down all the way. I had him checked for a UTI and he didn't/doesn't have one. After UTI was ruled out, since these accidents were becoming a regular thing, I switched him from boxers to briefs so he could get used to underwear that is more similar to a pull-up diaper than the boxers. I don't think we are at incontinence now as he knows he has to go but may be headed there. I got some of those pads for men for his underwear that are helping with the accidents for now. I do ask often if he has to go and/or take him into the bathroom (sometimes he doesn't seem to understand what potty, touilet, bathroom means so I show him) but he usually says he doesn't have to go- then he's in there a few minutes later.

Buggsroo

My husband does this but in the sink. I feel for you, it is difficult. Honestly, you may have to explain that grandad has a problem to the grandchildren. We had our psw here and my husband went into the kitchen and peed in the sink. I am past embarrassment.

Kenzie56

Thank you for your suggestions and for your support.  I never thought of a portable urinal...I'll look for one today and have it in the car, just in case.  That will work and I'll also contact his doctor.  DH forgets where the bathroom is in the house, so I have signs on the doors and point him in the right direction.  Things seem to work when we are at home, but when we leave the house he becomes so disoriented. If it is not a UTI or the medication, then I will need to try different approaches and your suggestions have been helpful.  I do feel that he doesn't understand my questions, so perhaps "Do you have to go pee?" or "Do you have to go to the bathroom?" may need to be posed several different ways.  He often says no, but like LA says, he goes into the bathroom a few minutes later.  I wonder if he forgets what to do once he is in there?  Thank you again for your input. I certainly do try to be proactive to each turn in the road...but this one was a surprise. (I've had a lot of surprises lately...hope he hits a plateau soon.)