Homeless

toolbeltexpert

Well dw thinks I have been gone for a long time and thinks I should leave this is her home. Nothing is working. Doc is out of pocket, I texted him about the depakote and he said to discontinue it. So here we go. If this doesn't clear up its gonna be an er visit. I can't  believe how quick things have changed. Still don't think it's a uti, but the depakote. I am again at wits end. I feel so bad for my dw. She cannot comprehend any of this at all,she cries cause everything is happening so fast. I am gonna learn the fib if she wants me to leave. You all taught me well, tomorrow, tomorrow I love ya tomorrow. I can't leave today cause I have got any where to go.

Just Bill

You can tell her you are the live in caretaker. Because she requires 24/7 care you have to live there. My wife went through a phase where she didn't know I was her husband. To be totally honest I still don't think she really knows who I am but accepts I am her husband out of repetition more than anything. And pictures, keep showing her pictures of you two together. Put pictures of you two in every room of the house so she see's them. Good luck.

toolbeltexpert

Bill I tried the pictures because I take tons of pictures of her. Her response was how could you have these pictures you were not here. I gave up reasoning.  We have walls of family pictures and today she found our wedding album that has been lost and just like that its gone again. She is fast at losing things.She just said I don't know if I am gonna live thru this. If it gets any worse we will need to visit the er.  I may have to be a caregiver, handyman,something.  She was the one who painted murals on my garage, I am Mr fix it or should I say was. She totally doesn't recognize me. In 5 minutes it won't matter I just keep saying that.

Just Bill

Has your doctor tried anti depressants with your wife ? When my wife got depressed, delusional and angry I called her doctor and he prescribed effexor. It worked right away. The only side effect was upset stomach for 2 weeks. She is starting to get depressed, delusional and angry again so if the frequency of episodes continues another call to the doctor may up her dose or add another anti-depressant. I am not a doctor but from what I've read anti-depressants are the first line of defense against dementia symptoms. Depakote is a mood stabilizer I am curious why your doctor would prescribe that medication. Again I am not a doctor and I mean no disrespect with this question I am just curious and trying to learn as much as I can.

Scooterr

toolbelt I feel for you. Your right it's moving very quickly. It seems to be since she started the depakote that would raised my suspicions also. I'm sure no doctor so don't hold me to that, but there seems to be a connection.  I know when the doctors started trying medications on my wife, she went went through pure hell before they found the ones that worked. Hang in there!

toolbeltexpert

Jb your fine, I am always open to questioning, I think your right about an anti depression, I did mention she was getting depressed it may be that they only heard me talk about her mood, dw was hurting herself, I could restrain her when she did. But thats no way to live which is why we got started on testing.

Scooterr  this may well end in an er situation and there are 2 Geri psych units fairly close. Right now things are calmed down, I am the handyman for now. I hate to say it but I hope it happens at night because my dw has a close friend of hers who works night's at the er. 

Joydean

Toolbelt, I feel your pain. 2 years ago my dh got really bad, trying to kill himself, had to call 911 and he spent a week in mental facility! It was the worst time for me. I didn’t know what was going on and non of the doctors or nurses would tell me anything except he was being observed! I hate this disease and what hell it puts out love ones in and us. But my faith is still strong and I believe when God said “I will never leave you or forsake you.”  Hang on TB! 

Do you think she will let you take her to er if you need to? I pray she will! 

Ed1937

I'm so sorry she has gotten worse. It does seem as though the depakote might be the problem. Hopefully the doctor can get things squared away quickly. You're doing as much as anyone could. She's lucky to have you in her corner.

toolbeltexpert

Joyce I don't know if she would but I am praying she will get some sleep. It is so pitiful, she has come down twice and stood in my bedroom door and asked if I am going to rob her. She said your not the Stewart I know.she is crying and I feel like I did it to her. Not looking for any sympathy, it's hard to separate making choices for her and the outcome of the choices. I know if we go I will be calling ahead for her friend. Thank you for your prayers, I know He hears us,I don't  always understand but I am sure He is faithful.

Just Bill

I think the second someone is diagnosed with dementia the depression clock starts. Even though the brain is scrambling, enough of it works to know something is wrong.  I also think doctors know there is no cure there is just symptom abatement. You are right, if I told my doctor her mood sucks he would probably prescribe a mood stabilizer. I happened to open with she is depressed so he prescribed an anti-depressant. I think on some level they are treating your reactions to her behavior. Ultimately you are going to use medication to manage her behavior so you don't howl at the moon at midnight with her. Speaking of that she would get up in the middle of the night insisting angrily I have to take her home. After a few sessions of that I told the doctor I need her to sleep the night. He prescribed ambien. It is fantastic, I give it to her 10 minutes before bedtime and she is out cold until normal wake up time. And the full night sleep has a great effect on her moods. For me anti-depressant in the morning and ambien at night keeps the machine running smoothly for now. When the symptoms change so does her meds.

Lynne D

My HWD regularly has rants where he demands I get the f&@# out of his house. I literally will leave the house (go into the yard, to the neighbors, or go to my basement hideout) and monitor him with cameras. Sometimes he stops, most often he keeps yelling. I believe he has auditory hallucinations. 

Anyway, I don’t feel I can stop his agitation or delusions, so I choose not to participate, and feel I am able to keep him safe enough via monitoring. 

He started Seroquel last week because he became violent. It is making him sleepy all of the time, and I am working on dosing with the doctor. But…much less aggression!

Just Bill

These are our choices: Anti-depressants or anti-psychotics witch one is the best fit for your LO. Good luck with the seroquel Lynne I hope it takes his edge off and makes him more manageable for you. Sleep is good.

toolbeltexpert

Lynne you have indeed been dealing with this for a while and I thought of you. I haven't child proof the house and we have tons of knives every where, plus the scissors.  I know she wouldn't hurt me intentionally, but maybe out of fear of the stranger in the house. It's a new day but she still asks if I am gonna steal her blind but I feel the edge may be a little less. Lynne I am happy you have a little relief.

Stuck in the middle

Depakote was developed as a drug for the treatment of epileptic seizures, but helps some people with mood disorders so is often prescribed to people who aren't epileptic as a psychiatric drug.  Some it helps, some it makes worse.  My son tried Depakote but it made him depressed and irritable.  One of his friends had the same experience with it.

No one really knows how most mental health meds work.  That's why doctors just try various meds until they find one or a combination that helps.

I had a similar experience when I started blood pressure meds years ago.  The first did nothing, the second ran my heart rate down to about 45 bpm, and the third worked fine.  It's an art as much as a science.