I'm pretty sure I'm not going to make it.....

bigfoot2you

DH is  on one of his "I'm headed out" days and will not believe he lives here.     Or that he is married to me.   Wants to go home and see his mother............home is long time sold and mother is deat..........says nobody told him she died or they sold the house.........nobody ever tells him anything.........people steal his stuff,  lie to him.......make up stories..........out to get him..........on and on and on.  Bored with watching TV but refuses to do anything else.   Wants to ride in the truck all day, going nowhere.........."NOT HAPPENING"  Normally I try to take him out for a little  bit or find something small to do but he says he hurt his leg and is in severe pain and stumples around and moans.........he is a huge drama queen,  always has been.   I will take him in to check his leg monday if not better..........this disease is hard on the patient but BY GOD it's as bad on us caregivers or worse!!!     There, pity party pretty much over............sigh

Pat6177

Oh Bigfoot, what a crappy day! I have no advice but I hear you! And I agree, I think sometimes it is harder on us caregivers. May tomorrow be a better day!

toolbeltexpert

Bigfoot I could have written your post. I just went upstairs to get the wife up cause I heard her moving around. Her door was locked so I knocked and she finally opened it. First question are you scamming me? This is so hard day after day. I guess I am doing the pity party thing too. But it is so hard. Hoping you can get a little break.

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Ed1937

Victoria2020 wrote:

tbe- can you remove her door lock? That could be dicey if she ever decided to burn something, fell down etc? I hope you got some sleep last night .

That was my first thought too. Locking the door with no way for you to get in seems pretty dangerous. Just buy a new handle without a lock. I had to do that too.

Ed1937

Bigfoot, I'm sorry it's such a hard disease. It might be better if you didn't mention his mother's death. If he thinks she is alive, that could be devastating for him to hear that. And now you know that mentioning the sale of the house upsets him too, just don't mention it again. Little things like this will make it just a little easier on you too.

I like Victoria's "nurse story". If he's a drama queen, that could be healing for him.

ButterflyWings

bigfoot2u- I have been through the worst of this including several wandering episodes and actual elopement. And my DH still starts every day getting out of bed and 'getting out of here' as soon as he opens his eyes. I can hardly believe it is so persistent at Stage 6e. At least now I can redirect him to "wait till the sun comes up, wait til after breakfast, oh wow look at this magazine article or you-tube movie", etc. All day distracting from the exit-seeking impulse for nearly 4 years now. 

You will make it, but may have to get some prescription help (or an increase) at some point. The only thing that saves us is his antipsychotic, Seroquel. We are up to 300 mg daily, with permission to add 25mg periodically as if/needed. 10 mg liquid melatonin if he is literally insisting on walking out the door, regardless. Is your DH currently seeing a geri-psych or neuropsych doc who can prescribe? And like Ed says, its time to join him in fiction land. No more discussing "facts" that will just distress him and his broken brain can't process. Make up a comforting fairy tale and keep it moving. You both will be very glad you did.

tbe- I agree with Victoria about the door locks being an issue. I have had to remove interior door locks on bedroom and bathroom long ago. DH locked the bedroom door once and shortly after I heard the burglar alarm go off. He had opened a window to escape. Since your DW is in elopement mode this week I would lose the door lock or even the entire doorknob if needed. Her safety is at stake should she decide to climb out the window - especially not being ground floor. Your safety could be at risk too (my DH started stashing knives, bats, big garden tools like a pitchfork to protect from threatening intruders - his delusions and hallucinations were as your DW is exhibiting), and also your sanity is at stake like bigfoot's title suggests, as we all well know. 

Gig Harbor

Our interior doors have the small hole in the doorknob and sticking a paper clip in it pops the lock. My husband would get mad when I opened the doors.