My grandmother has Alzheimer's and insists on going to back to Mexico

Ale_123

Hi, 

My grandmother has Alzheimer's and she isn't able to stay by herself anymore. She tends to get lost and gets confused now in familiar locations. We are doing our best to have her busy such as in adult day care and she goes to gym too. Her schedule keeps her really active. All of my family works and we can't afford to take her and stay with her right now. We also don't have any trust worthy family that would be willing to take care of her and we can't afford to hire anyone over there.  I'm not sure what we should do as it's causing her anxiety to go. Is there anyone that can give some recommendations or tips on how we can handle this situation? Thank you. 

JJ401

If she is originally from Mexico, this is her version of the I want to go home that many Alzheimer’s patients say. What they are really saying is that ‘I want to feel safe’. You could get her to Mexico and find she is still saying that she wants to go home.

Use some fiblets — we’re working on it— the house in Mexico is being renovated — they had to order a whatever and it’s on backorder— etc —-keep repeating as needed.

If grandma follows the progression of most Alzheimer’s patients, this home asking phase will pass.

dayn2nite2

Another great fiblet would be "Mexico isn't allowing people into the country until COVID is over" and tell her you will keep checking to see if that changed.

MrsAnnabelLee

In addition to the suggestions above, some people have found it helpful to give their LO time to talk about the "home" they're wanting to go back to. "Mexico isn't allowing travel during covid, but can you tell me about it? What was it like growing up there?" or something along those lines. Sometimes, talking about the safe place they remember brings them feelings of comfort.

Ale_123

Thank you everyone for replying! We did try the covid excuse for a while and it worked, but My eldest aunt is still in denial of my grandmother's diagnosis. So she enables her antics and even encourages her to go by herself, which causes tension in my family. But, I'll do my best to try to talk to her more about her hometown in order to help her feel safer.

Arrowhead

My wife went through a period of over a year and a half where she tried to walk “home” several times a day, every day. You cannot talk them out of it, trying to just upsets them. All you can do is to try working around it. What works for a while might stop working and something that didn’t work in the past may in the future. All you can do is to keep on trying.