Sleeping problems about to lose my mind.

Jonesa

My mother keeps me awake all night. I have tried 10 mg melatonin, slow release melatonin, valerian root And it doesn’t work. I have been up for almost 24 hours straight. What have you tried to get your loved one to sleep at night? I need to figure out something very soon because I also have medical conditions that I need sleep ( fibromyalgia, degenerative disc disease, and degenerative bone disease.) I also have three young children that I need to care for which is very hard because of the lack of sleep. Any suggestions would be very helpful.

MN Chickadee

You likely need to move beyond over the counter products. I would consult her doctor. This kind of sleep deprivation takes its toll on caregivers fast and can lead to bad outcomes for both you and your mother. Not sleeping at night and incontinence are often the two issues that force people to move their loved one to a facility, they are so hard to deal with long term.  Trazadone and Mirtazapine are often first line prescriptions to try. Mirtazapine worked wonders for my mother. It made her sleep through the night (most of the time) and also can stimulate the appetite if weight loss is an issue. Some people with dementia require something more heavy duty before bed, such as seroquel. Some folks find a THC gummie helps if that is an option in your state. I would consult her physician asap and see what they can prescribe.

Jonesa

We’ve tried trazodone it didn’t work. I cannot call her doctor due to the fact I am not on the HIPAA act. My sister it’s her POA of healthcare and is doing a very bad job.

Jonesa

We also tried the Seroquel it just made her extremely groggy and she woke up while on that

May flowers

Is your mom agitated at night or just awake? I’d recommend talking to her doctor, a lot of docs are doing telehealth now which makes it easier. The meds are really a trial and error - what works for one PWD may not work for the next.

My FIL was agitated and Risperdone has helped him sleep. His night time regimen is .5 mg Risperdone, melatonin 5 mg (a higher dose actually keeps him up), reflux meds, and Zyrtec (nurse suggested moving that to nighttime due to drowsy effects). All I know is this combo knocks him out for 12 hours.  

Edited to add, trazadone and seroquel did not help my FIL either, unfortunately. Risperdone is not making him groggy the next day which was a huge plus for us.

jfkoc

You can always convey information to your mother's Dr. The HIPAA only applies to out going information.

harshedbuzz

Jonesa wrote:

We’ve tried trazodone it didn’t work. I cannot call her doctor due to the fact I am not on the HIPAA act. My sister it’s her POA of healthcare and is doing a very bad job.

I personally would not take on caregiving for a PWD if I was not the medical and financial POA for said individual. That's a hard no. I would probably move mom to sister's place or go to court to obtain guardianship. 

These children you are caring for-- are they your children? You might need to make a choice here given that being sleep deprived in a household where a PWD's needs come first is not sustainable. 

oehlsena

We are blessed in that our LO has been able to sleep through the night for at least the past five month. She had been getting up to wander and has knocked on our door mistaking it for the bathroom and fallen out of her bed.. She also use to have panic attacks for hours before bedtime- sometime until 2 AM or so.  Then she got better at going to sleep and progressed to letting out a single scream sometimes during the night. Now she can for the most part sleep through the night. I can't imagine how stressful it would be for her to not go to sleep whenever we need her to. Well, I actually sort of can because for me it usually takes a few hours to coax her into going to bed. I try to get her to go to bed after dinner and she can be agitated for a while. She has to tire herself out because there's no other outlet for that energy if she doesn't get some exercise. My go-to lately is just a no-argument about it, "House rules says it's bedtime." I will just repeat that. It is exhausting to be honest.  It is so perfect though when we can have a nice evening and she will quietly go through her nighttime routine and go to bed. Very relaxing for me to be able to have an early night.

eaglemom

I certainly don't mean to sound harsh, but have your sister take care of mom for several nights. Then she'll see what you are dealing with.

As was stated, I believe you can call your moms PCP and discuss her nonsleeping. The PCP can't "discuss" the situation with you however.

You've somehow got to get your sister involved. Either your mom goes to her house for a visit or your sister comes and stays at your house for a visit. It has to be at least 3 night preferably 4 or 5 so she can totally see your mom's behavior.

Let us know what you come up with. 

eagle

dayn2nite2

Tell your sister she has 30 days to find and move your mother to a facility or she can take care of her.

You can no longer do it, your children are the priority.