Successor Trustee and POA guidance, please

eapayne1

My mother has mid-stage dementia.  She now lives with me and my family, and I am her primary care giver.  Most of her assets are in trust.  I am her successor trustee as well as POA for healthcare and property.  I met with her attorney about a month ago, and she explained the content of all her legal documents.  Now, I have a letter from her doctor stating she is no longer capable of managing her finances.

With the letter, what are the next legal steps that need to happen for me to become trustee and POA?  I have another meeting with the attorney this week but want to be prepared for the discussion and have time to think through questions I might have.

Thank you to anyone who can share (and, I understand it is not legal advice).

CatsWithHandsAreTrouble

Welcome to the forum, you're in good hands with many who've been in the same position as you. That's good that you have all those paper works in order! That is half the battle. 

My suggestion is to call the office and just ask them. If you've got a scheduled meeting, they're already expecting you. Just say something like "I want to make sure I have all the information we need to make sure this meeting goes smoothly." They should be willing to comply; most people like things without much hassle and they can appreciate you thinking ahead.

I think I've also heard some people need two letters saying that the person is unable to manage themselves, but I'm not sure if that's for POA or getting placed for care. Sometimes just having the attorney seeing the person with dementia (pwd) in person can be enough.

Good luck!

eapayne1

Thank you.  This is all overwhelming.

CatsWithHandsAreTrouble

It is, yes! Remember to take time for yourself. The saying goes, you have to put on your own oxygen mask before you help others. 

Please do continue coming to here, for advice, or venting, for sharing your sorrows. Anything, this is a space for you as a caregiver.

You can call the Alz helpline if you also need anything else. (800) 272-3900 . Just tell them what you need and they can point you in the right direction.

jfkoc

(not legal advice) I think that if the document is a DPOA you can now act   in her behalf in those things spelled out in the document.

zauberflote

We just redid our POA's recently. I don't have the document with me (on vacation) but I think I remember that successor POA's come into play "if the first POA is unable or unwilling" to do the work, but the first trustee has to notify in writing their/its unwillingness to perform. 

The healthcare proxy was an interesting experience, as apparently in VA, the document must be written that two physicians have to sign off on PWD's incapability, BUT, the POA should be waved in front of any healthcare providers' noses and they will capitulate. So the elder care att'y said. 

My brother and I learned, with our mother's healthcare issues, that doctors and hospitals, in NY and VA anyway, do not need to see a POA in the heat of an emergency because they "always go to next of kin anyway". 

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eapayne1

Thank you, everyone.  The meeting with the attorney went well.

letter from doctor (sufficient per her attorney) - check

signed trust w/ me as successor trustee - check

signed POA Property - check

signed POA Healthcare - check

On to the next phase of contacting institutions and making sure her accounts are in order ... and canceling a home warranty that she 'purchased' a few months ago. 

buckeyenut

I'm also going to suggest that you keep a copy of your POA paperwork on your phone. You will find when some company/service your mom used will need a copy of your paperwork before you can cancel or be refunded..having what you need right on your phone will make you life easier!  Good luck to you!

eapayne1

Hadn't thought of that.  Great suggestion.  Thank you!

jfkoc

On occasion I pretended that I was my mother when making changes over the phone. All they are really concerned with is covering themselves. Just know the answers to the questions asked!!!