Extra Help in California

rosebud87

Hello - New to this forum, but searching for all the help available that we may not know about.  Long story short - my partner's mother has Alzheimer's and is in a long term care facility (coming up on one year).  They have very little family, so he takes on a huge role in her life and in her care.  He visits her near daily to make sure she gets out, laughs, has a great meal, has interaction, and basically is not feeling alone.  However, it is taking a huge toll on him and he needs help.  He hates when she is left alone or no one comes to visit her.  She is in California and is on Medi-Cal.  Are there any services through Medi-Cal (or otherwise) that can provide someone to go visit with her?  She is not doing many things on her own, so maybe they just visit with her.  Could also take on some of the things that he often does - showering, cleaning up room, taking her for a walk/exercise, etc. 

Any advice or guidance you have that could point me in the right direction would be so helpful.  Thank you!

CatsWithHandsAreTrouble

Hello rosebud, welcome to the forum, many here know exactly what you and your partner are going through.

You can try calling the Alz helpline: (800) 272-3900 . They can help point you in the right direction for finding more care. You can also look up the Area Agency on Aging for your area. They too can point you in the right direction.

I hope this is enough to get you started. Keep looking, there's help out there somewhere!

ImMaggieMae

Welcome to the forum, Rosebud. There are caregivers agencies that you can use to hire a caregiver to visit your loved one in a facility or at home. They take care of all of the tax and withholding details and you just pay a flat fee. You pay by the hour. The minimum is typically 4 hours per day, 3 days per week. You can hire them for as many hours as you need. It isn’t cheap, but those 12 hours per week can be a good chance to get other things done, like shopping or going to dinner. There are also agencies like care.com that match you up with caregivers and you take care of the tax aspects yourself. I hope this info helps.

rosebud87

Thanks so much; I will definitely look into these.

rosebud87

Thank you so much.  I will definitely look into this.  I'm not sure if we can take on this much financially, but maybe there is somewhere where the requirement might be less.

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Jo C.

HICAP is a SHIP federal program put into place by the govt.; there is one of those programs in every state but they go by different names; they are specifically for Medicare information - the only help with Medi-Cal or Medicaid they do is to pretty much let low income Medicare beneficiaries know that they can look into Medi-Cal as a supplemental co-insurance if they qualify by income status.  There is no input on social programs or other similar benefits.

https://www.shiphelp.org/about-us

Since your Partner's mother is in a NH and it appears that may be with Medi-Cal as the payor for the long term care; it is quite unlikely that there will be any other help for visitation for your MIL unless she was crucially ill and qualified for Hospice which would have volunteer visitors.  Either professionally or personally, I have never found any such other services when a person is in a NH already receiving Medi-Cal benefits.

One question:  Are your Partner's daily visits, and they sound like long visits, really a necessity or is it a Partner's possible problem of over-doing that may benefit from some realistic adjustment?  Just asking since you mention your Partner's showering her and cleaning her room; those are tasks that NH staff routinely provides Straightening items is one thing, but cleaning and showering is quite another.   The visits are made out of love and concern and I understand that; but since they are taking a toll, it is a question to be asked. Sometimes, if the caregiver is having a very hard time with the dynamics, short term counseling can often put things in perspective. NOTE:  Sometimes such visits are because the caregiving person enjoys them.  Another question:  Have you discussed your concerns with your Partner?

It would be an option to contact nearby senior centers and especially local churches to see if they have persons who are willing to make nursing home social visits.  Another option is one that I took since I was working; that is, I found a lovely woman from a local church who I paid to become a "friend" to my mother in her NH.  She visited several days  week for a few hours each of those days.  She went to activities with my mother, sat and spoke to her; took her for walks around the facilty and on the grounds; they got snacks together ,she did small crafts with her, they looked at photos and magazines together, and sometimes just talked.  My mother deeply enjoyed this woman and considered her to be her friend.   I never let my mother know that person was a paid visitor.   Such a visitor by the way, would not be showering or cleaning.

I can well understand your concern, let us know how it goes and how everyone is doing, we are all here in support of one another and we understand since we are all on similar journeys.

J.

Jo C.

This may be helpful - California Caregiver Resource Center - there are eleven across the state:

 
 https://cacrcstaging.wpengine.com/about-us/

Also, try contacting the Family Caregiver Alliance they will be easily found on Google; they are located in San Francisco, but they also provide information across the state.

By the way, it is worth it to sign up for the newsletter; much good information comes at intervals and they have free classes on various topics that are helpful to caregivers.

J.