A new disturbing behaviour

Buggsroo

Today, while I was working, my husband got up went into the kitchen, opened the fridge door and drank almond milk from the container. This in itself is normal, however, now add going outside and sitting down in his underwear and T-shirt. Now repeat this string of events over and over again. I lost count of this after twenty times. 

I turned off the furnace and the air conditioning because said husband would turn the air off and put the heat up. So no air con and I was working on a nice hot computer. 

 I was working, he was doing this continued behaviour starting in the early afternoon and finally stopped by myself at 11:50 pm. It was like his brain was in a loop, constantly doing the same behaviour over and over again. 

He still poos in the sink, both kitchen and bathroom, I have become inured to that, but this behaviour set my teeth on edge and upped my anxiety quotient.

M1

B I can't imagine dealing with what you are dealing with.  I'm so sorry, it sounds awful.  You have high tolerance levels.

Ed1937

Buggs, you are one of a kind. I'm so sorry you are still dealing with this, and now you have a new problem! There is so much pain, stress, and heartache on this forum, it's no wonder so many people visit once or twice, then leave. The thought of these things happening to them is just more than they can handle. You are an exceptionally strong person.

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Buggsroo

Sadly, he does not possess the skills of Nureyev however, it is just an easy reach into his Depends to spread the brown joy around both the kitchen and bathroom sinks. He also includes the floors and various surfaces in his artistic endeavours. Usually I am groggy from being awoken multiple times, so cannot experience awe at his artistic prowess. A shriek, sigh or just silent rage are my go to for this sort of thing.

The repetitive  behaviour is a new fresh hell. Honestly it was like operating on a loop. I plan to go out twice this weekend in order to prepare myself for four days of working. Abandon hope all ye who enter here.

Thank you for your kind replies, I am not that strong, I just muddle through day by day.

Joydean

Buggs, you are one of the strongest! How you deal with so much and still maintain your sanity to keep working is amazing. I know I have to put up with a lot, but not poop in the sink. When I read some of the things others are going through, I wonder what do I have to be so sad about. Granted some days I just want to scream and yes I have gone out side and done that. 

Ed you are so right, lately it has become a very sad and scary place to come. But where else are we going to learn from. As much as I don’t want to know what else could be ahead, sticking my head in the sand and wishing this would all go away is unrealistic. For me this is a place where friends are that know and are living in the same hell. 

Buggs I hope things will turn around and the next thing he comes up with will not be so hard. Wishing you all the best, and definitely strength to cope! 

Sligo177

Bugsroo,

I wish any of us had advice for you, this is such a tough situation.  I do know that you are handling things better than I ever could!  And you keep your sense of humor.  You're amazing.

I hope that one or more of these behaviors eases up.  You need a break!  Prayers for you.

Just Bill

Hey Buggsroo how about pants he cannot remove and a walk in shower ? If he smells strip him, power wash him, diaper him and seal him ? If it isn't practical I hope the visual at least gave you a giggle.

Buggsroo

Oh my god, I guffawed at the strip him, wash him and seal him up. That was great. All of you have been very kind. It is a trip, I cannot place him yet because he always has to have me in his sight. I am going to visit various homes to see which ones I might like. I would love him to be in one that has pets, he loves dogs and cats so much. Our two cats now avoid him and have gravitated over to me. His yelling and biting himself frighten them.

Gig Harbor

It is hard to know when the time for placement is right. I know that I could not do what you are doing! You are an amazingly strong woman. My friends therapist told her when she made the decision to place her husband and was so sad. “ your head knows it is time but your heart has not caught up.” You are wise to visit places and get his name on a list if there is one. You never know when that final thing happens and your heart will say it is time. I grew up in BC. What part of Canada do you live in?

Buggsroo

Hi Gig,

I live in Ontario, Toronto, all of you thank you so much. You may think I am strong, I feel like my knees are buckling, I blow up at times, it’s like being attached to a Velcro strip in quicksand. There are times when I might implode. I watched a program on the Manhattan project and there was a descriptIon of how a nuclear explosion worked. That resonated with me. I honestly think I have fallen down a rabbit hole.

JJAz

Buggsroo wrote:

Sadly, he does not possess the skills of Nureyev however, it is just an easy reach into his Depends to spread the brown joy around both the kitchen and bathroom sinks. He also includes the floors and various surfaces in his artistic endeavours. Usually I am groggy from being awoken multiple times, so cannot experience awe at his artistic prowess. A shriek, sigh or just silent rage are my go to for this sort of thing.

There is a fairly easy fix for dementia patients who can't keep their hands out of their underwear.  Look up Buck & Buck or Silvert's online and review their line of  'anti-strip clothing.'  I had my husband in their jumpsuits for a few months while he went through phase. 

JJAz

One more thing, you don't mention what medications your husband is taking for dementia.  It's worth talking to your doctor to find assistance that will make it easier for him (imagine how anxious he must feel to deal with the feelings that he has) and you.

jfkoc

Bugga....you are a champion muddler!!!!

Paris20

Buggsroo, I don’t know how you do it. My husband had a stroke on top of his AD and I had no choice but to place him immediately after hospitalization and rehab in an assisted living-skilled nursing facility. I was lucky that the best place in town had one room available and I grabbed it. It’s taking a fortune of our savings but he is so handicapped now that he cannot be cared for at home, even with help. Today, when I visited him, one of the aides told me DH had just had what I’d call a “colon blow.” I waited outside his room while three aides dealt with the mess. It took them close to half an hour to clean him, dress him, and put him in his recliner. While I waited, all I could think was how grateful I am that I don’t have to do this.

KathyF1

Buggs, Ditto. You are amazing. I pray for your patience. You are an encouragement to all of us!

Buggsroo

Paris, I howled at colon blow, there was a skit on Saturday Night Live one of their bogus commercials. This one was about a fibre cereal called Colon Blow. The punchline was: it would take 5,000 bowls of your cereal to equal one bowl of Colon Blow. My husband and I used to roar with laughter at that.

As for me being strong, not really and I admire you all for being the wonderful people you are. My husband doesn’t have hallucinations and hasn’t tried to hurt me. True, we have zero conversations and he is my shadow but I am coping. While I am working and he keeps telling me he is going to bed, I decided to turn up my music on my earphones. I don’t answer him as much so he just goes outside and I get some peace. 

It is quite tough though and I admire you all for what you are handling and I feel lucky I have you all, it has made this horror show easier to bear.