depressed(1)

JDancer

I'm so sad. This disease is killing us both.

I'm thinking I may need antidepressant medication. Since my depression is situational, and the situation is only getting worse, I wonder if medication will help. Has anyone had luck with medication (for themselves, not LO) for depression?

MaryG123

I take an antidepressant for anxiety JDancer, and it is a big help.  Fortunately, I have no side effects, and it allows me to sleep at night.  I still worry plenty, but the medication allows me to do something about it like take a walk, pull some weeds, read a book, or write in my journal.  Before meds I would just get stuck ruminating.  You can always stop if you have side effects, it doesn’t help,  or you don’t need it anymore.  My two cents.

Iris L.

Are you able to get some sunlight outdoors every day?  I make a point to get at least twenty minutes daily, and it does help me.

Iris

Bob in LW

My SO takes Trazodone, and I'm not aware of any side effects.  Her doctor prescribed it because her memory failure sometimes makes her frustrated and depressed.  She is in good spirits most of the time, except when dealing with her computer, but who, except the Apple users, hasn't been frustrated with Microsoft??

JDancer

I'll work on getting more Sunlight.

I'm a dedicated swimmer, which helps, but lately, it's not enough.

Thank you for the advice.

Just Bill

I do breathing exercises when I wake up and right before bed. It really helps. For reference google Wim Hof breathing exercises. Before being on 24/7 watch over my wife I used to golf 3 days a week, so I get out in the backyard and do my swing drills, also very therapeutic. I have an exercise bike and a pool so I try to do those as often as possible. As far as medication I like a low dose 10mg THC gummy. It gives me the right frame of mind to travel through the twilight zone of existence with my wife.

toolbeltexpert

JD I understand and I am not a doctor but there are lots of folks on antidepressants, I do not. but often very late in the day, I take 10 mg gummy, like Bill does. I couldn't drive after taking it so that's one reason to take it so late the other is it helps me sleep, the first week my Dw was in geripych I don't do it in case something happened but my sleep left me so for now, gummy please. They are Legal here if they were not that wouldn't have been an option. The pack contains 2 SQ gummies which I cut into 6 PCs each, so 12 pieces for 6$ cheap enough. Oh btw they do not kick in very quickly it takes at least 2 hrs to start feeling anything, but about four hrs later you might see an old giggling fool. My sil found out last night as we had a long talk, then the gummy kicked in, talk about laugh. It feels good to laugh. Just don't drive period.

JDancer

Unfortunately, I'm still working, as a nurse, so gummies are out. One more reason to look forward to retirement.

Jewelsrr

Jddancer, as a therapist I urge you to get a therapist as you consider meds. They are never as effective as a replacement to therapy, should always be combined. Many behavioral strategies were suggested here and a good therapist can help you determine what would be best for you as well as discuss the anticipated grief. Please don’t ignore your own needs. The statistics regarding caregiver health is frightening and we really need to advocate for more help. So sorry you are feeling this, I admit even as a therapist, with my on therapist, and doing all the things to help myself, I also feel discouraged and sad alt but those are normal feelings. I also try to look for what some call “glimmers” the moments I feel at peace, supported, hopeful even.

Bill_2001

Antidepressant medication did not help me at all. It made me feel strange, disconnected, and bitter. Medication may help you, as we are all different.

Caregivers' depression is situational as you stated. Nothing short of the end of our caregiving duties will solve the problem.

That said, certainly find some time every single day to do something for yourself, even if your loved one needs to be right beside you. Music is my lifesaver, and I plan a couple of hours of listening to music each day. Music also does wonders for people with dementia. It calms them, gives them joy, and provides them a break from their tortured mind. 

If you don't already have an adult day care, try to find one. You also need real breaks from caregiving on a regular basis. This is a very depressing situation, and you need to find ways to cope each day.

Gig Harbor

About 4 years ago I started on Wellbutrin. My husband was getting worse and there were other issues as well. It stopped the severe sadness and made life seem easier to handle. I am still taking it. I guess the only way to know if it is still helping would be to stop taking it for awhile but I don’t want to chance it. I take it once a day on the morning as it can interfere with sleep if you take it in the evening. It has also been used to help stop smoking so if you smoke and wanted to quit that would be a plus.

tcrosse

While DW was in stage 6 I was prescribed Duloxetine for neuropathy. A side effect is that it took the edge off my anxiety without any other side effects. Now that she has reached stage 8 I am considering stopping, as it wasn't doing much for my neuropathy. I found that though caretaking got more and more difficult, post mortem grieving got less and less so.

JoseyWales

I'm so sorry you're dealing with the depression, but I don't feel it's very uncommon with all of us here. I think anyone NOT dealing with depression is uncommon in this group.

I was on an anti-depressant for a while when DH was late stage 4 / early stage 5. I found myself in a state of panic each day, trying to take care of everything and trying to set things up for the future. 

The meds I was on also helped with anxiety. And it did help for a while, until I found it was making me too sleepy. I went off it after about 8 months for that reason. 

My doctor also recommended counseling. Which would have been an excellent idea, if it wasn't for the fact that I had NO TIME. And I live in an area severely lacking in counseling quality. A good one would have been an hour drive away. So at least 3 hours devoted for a counseling session.... wasn't happening.

jfkoc

Yes, and a really good therapist helped too.

Buggsroo

I understand about the depression, I had a few bouts with it during perimenopause and started taking Paxil back then. I am still on it and realize it is something I will always have to take, I have a chronic condition. Now with my husband’s dementia, my happy pills as I call them are a real life saver.

I used to work for a major newspaper here in Canada. We were doing a feature in anti-depressants so we put out a message to everyone in the newsroom to see if anyone had pills that we could photograph. So many different pills came from all the corners of the newsroom, we had to turn people away. I felt so validated by that experience. 

Just be prepared to try different ones until you find the right one. Anti-depressants won’t have you singing zippity do dah but they help you cope with things that generally are pretty hard to take. Good luck.

Iris L.

JDancer wrote:

I'm so sad. This disease is killing us both.

Don't  let this happen!

 Since my depression is situational, and the situation is only getting worse

You are probably right, but it is a good idea to rule out medical causes.   

In the meantime, work on the situational aspects that can be changed.  Work on getting more sleep, better nutrition (I know I'm not the only one who succumbs to sweets as mood lifter-uppers), and endorphin boosters such as music that Bill mentions.  

I would also recommend posting daily or at least more frequently.  You need to be in contact with people who understand.  Posting on the message boards is one of the ways I got out of my deep depression years ago.  I also chatted on the Chat Line but that is not used nowadays. 

 If you can find a live support group, that can help.  

Get away from caregiving when you can (respite).

You are immersed in a depressogenic life situation and you must avail yourself of all modalities to alleviate!

Iris

Stuck in the middle

I have taken antidepressants for 25+ years, and wouldn't be without them.  The best news recently is the patent on Vibryd had expired, and a generic is available at a much lower price.  

Avoiding alcohol and television helps me a lot.  

JDancer

Thanks to all for sharing advice and experiences.

Anxiety isn't an issue for me. I scored high on a self-assessment for depression. Emotionally flat, joyless, unmotivated, not really enjoying life in general.

I'm going to return to therapy, after a year off. Try to fit Yoga into my schedule. Spend more time outdoors. Continue swimming and riding my bike. Make more effort to socialize and see how it goes. And I will revisit this thread as I consider pharmaceuticals. Thanks again.

MaryG123

That sounds like a great plan JDancer. Best wishes!