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Difficulty with comprehension when reading

I think I know the answer already, but I have noticed recently a quickening of symptoms with my DH, as has he. Last night he was going over the list of what we can and cannot put in our recycle bin. It was two lists. One list was what items you can put in and the other a list of what you can’t. He was completely stumped and confused on why there were two lists. This conversation went on for a full hour. I remained very calm and when he turned to me and said his brain just couldn’t figure out what was going on, it made me feel so sad for him. I said I understood and suggested we take a break and watch an episode of our show. That we did. Have others had this sort of progression as well? My DH is noticing a quickening of symptoms coming faster and faster which throws him into depression. What’s most difficult for him is that I have taken over most all tasks at our house. He thinks it’s horrible for me, which it’s not. Things are what they are. We still laugh often, and he still has quick wit. It’s harder for him to follow tv shows or even the news, reading and understanding instructions for the simplest of tasks is gone. Some days I feel like crying for what I have lost, but most often for what he has lost. I’m 65 and he’s 78 and the love of my life. Up to this point progression has been relatively slow. But it seems to have picked up speed.

Comments

  • Arrowhead
    Arrowhead Member Posts: 361
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    The fact that he recognizes and accepts that he has problems can help you work through them together. From the very beginning, my wife has been very good at covering up her symptoms. I didn’t realize she even had a problem until her shop steward called to tell me that she could no longer do her job. Even after her diagnosis, she would still cover up her shortcomings as best as she could. Staying calm and understanding are two of the best things you can do for him right now. It’s obvious that you’re working with him and not against him. The symptoms of this disease are a rollercoaster; ups and downs, twists and turns, sometimes faster and sometimes slower. All you can do is to hold on tight and enjoy the parts that you can.  

  • Ed1937
    Ed1937 Member Posts: 5,084
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    trottingalong wrote:
    Some days I feel like crying for what I have lost, but most often for what he has lost. 

    Just a little something that could be useful. Don't cry over those things. Feel happy about the things he still retains.

    We all feel bad for the way they feel when they say something like that. But we can't focus on the losses. Nothing positive can come from that. It takes work to focus on the positives, but it is worth it.


  • jmlarue
    jmlarue Member Posts: 511
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    I've seen this progression with my DH. Reading comprehension was the first. He used to be an daily book reader. At first, I noticed he was flipping back through pages to re-read because he'd lost the plot. Soon, he'd read the first 5-6 pages of a new book and then go back to Page One to start over. Finally, he stopped picking up a book altogether.

    He struggled with the garbage issue, too. Lists of what went in the recycle bin were of no use and he frequently put household garbage in that can (which I later had to fish out). I tried prompting him, giving him a single sack to take out. I'd say, "This sack goes in the GRAY can," for example. Worked for awhile, but not anymore. He no longer knows his colors. Gray, blue, green - it's all meaningless to him. I have to take care of the garbage now. He still offers to do it, but it's just so much easier to do it myself rather than quietly try to fish around in the bins to correct his mistakes.

    It's always a bit of a shock to see my DH's cognitive deficits worsen so rapidly.

  • trottingalong
    trottingalong Member Posts: 387
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    There’s a lot of hiding things from me as well, but now it’s reaching the point of being more difficult to hide things. Thank you for your reply. The sentence about ups and downs, twists and turns said it all.
  • trottingalong
    trottingalong Member Posts: 387
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    You are so correct. It’s rare for me to feel for things lost because we have so much laughter right now and I treasure all of that. We do live for the moment and I’m just happy we enjoy and understand each other considering the circumstances. Thank you.
  • trottingalong
    trottingalong Member Posts: 387
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    Thank you. Sounds so similar. I think I am in a bit of shock that things have appeared to stay more or less the same and then all of a sudden we are both noticing more.
  • MaryG123
    MaryG123 Member Posts: 393
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    My DH told me the other day that he is having trouble reading, and he too is worried about how this dementia will affect me going forward.  I lie and tell him I’ll be fine.  Hugs to you Trottingalong.  BTW, I have to do the trash/recycling sorting now too.
  • Joydean
    Joydean Member Posts: 1,498
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    The one chore my dh has is to take the trash and to can by the curb. I stand by the front door watching him. Sometimes he will see a bird or what ever and put the trash bag down and just wonder around. I go out and walk over to where he’s at, act like I just noticed the bag in driveway, and jokingly ask if he wants to finish taking the bag to the trash can so we can go back in where it’s cooler. He will just laugh and we finish his chore.
  • rlpete
    rlpete Member Posts: 33
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    Trottingalong, 

    I can relate to your comment about living for the moment. That is what we do too. While there are many things we can no longer do, there are many things we can. We so enjoy our evening meals. We talk, we listen to music, we laugh, yes, sometimes we have serious discussions but sometimes it feels like nothing has changed. We BOTH need those times. 

    We used to love to travel. We can't do that now but we can rent a little condo on the water within driving distance for a week. We may just sit on the deck most of the day and watch the water but getting away is such a welcome relief.

    We do need to find enjoyment where we can and not dwell all the time on the bad.     

  • trottingalong
    trottingalong Member Posts: 387
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    MaryG123, sounds like we are in a similar place. Mine worries about me as well and I say the same thing as you. For now I just enjoy our time together.
  • trottingalong
    trottingalong Member Posts: 387
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    Joydean, that made me smile. Sometimes things similar to that can happen with my husband as well. We also make light and laugh. I’m thankful for the laughter.
  • trottingalong
    trottingalong Member Posts: 387
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    Rlpete, I agree that things may change, but we adjust to those changes. We were rock climbers, mountain bike riders, boaters and more. I still own my horse and ride. My husband can still walk our dog which is wonderful. When I go with him we enjoy the time in the trees and the peace of it all.
  • MaryG123
    MaryG123 Member Posts: 393
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    Trottingalong,

    We have much in common, as I loved to horseback ride up until a few years ago when my old mule and I both became too arthritic.  Walking the dogs morning and night is part of our new routine since we moved to town, and we still enjoy bicycling too.  DH has always dwelled on the past and I worried about the future, but now we both try to focus only on the present.  Some days it's as if nothing has changed, but then there is a little reminder, like this morning when he couldn't find his pants, which were on the closet shelf where they always are, and put on a bathing suit instead, to go to the store.

  • CStrope
    CStrope Member Posts: 487
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    Isn't it interesting that trash is a common thread for so many of us!  My DH was a biology and environmental science teacher for 26+ years.  He ran the recycling club at school.  I think that's why his inability to handle taking out the trash is such a shock to me.  It was such a part of his life that I thought he would retain it as one of his chores that he could do because it was such a part of him.  But everyday, I have to tell him "black or yellow" at least 5 times with every time he goes to the garbage cans.  (and then he often still gets it wrong).  That and picking up the dog doo doo in the yard are the 2 things I still rely on him to do.  I hope he continues to be able to do the dog doo doo duty!!!!
  • Rescue mom
    Rescue mom Member Posts: 988
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    It IS kinda interesting how trash issues are so widespread….my DH was also an avid reader, but that was lost very early. What I had a hard time getting my head around was how he could read a note or list out loud, but he had no comprehension of what the words meant, or how to carry out even 3-word instructions. I just couldn’t understand how he could recognize/say the words, and they still don’t “register.”..

    He will still hold a newspaper or magazine (never a book) and turn the pages. Sometimes it’s upside down…

    The trash problem, though…for months he rooted through our and neighbors’ outdoor bins and bring horrible, ruined things, including spoiled food, back in the house. If I asked him why, or how this got here, he’d say it’s still good, or “it shouldn’t be thrown away.” Mostly he just looked blankly at it, and walked away. 

    He took stuff out of our inside trash, too; the outside trash was just much worse. I can’t tell you how often I found unidentifiable stuff in weird places by the stink.

    I had to watch him every minute when he went outside. He’d stop when told, but do the same thing 20 minutes later. The neighbors knew he Alzheimer’s and were always kind and helpful about his trash activity there.

    In hindsight, it kind of makes sense. He was a borderline paper hoarder even before dementia, and a complete recycling nazi. I recycle, but occasionally I’d make a mistake. And it was a Big Freaking Deal, a Huge big deal! if he saw me put something in the wrong can.  So maybe not surprising how it was such a focus for him later in dementia. 

    Now, of course, he doesn’t know from recycling, may or may not use any trash can, but at least stopped rooting through it.

  • trottingalong
    trottingalong Member Posts: 387
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    MaryG123

    It appears we do have much in common. Some days my DH and I end up chuckling over something he may do or say, and it makes both of us feel better learning to roll with what comes along. Other days I fix things he has mixed up, without him knowing, like if he puts something in the wrong place or throws something in the trash that wasn’t meant to be. 

  • trottingalong
    trottingalong Member Posts: 387
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    CStrope

    I had no idea when I wrote about the trash that anyone would have had a similar issue. It made me feel better, actually. 

  • trottingalong
    trottingalong Member Posts: 387
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    Rescue mom

    It is interesting how the brain functions with comprehension with Alzheimer’s. We have lived in a sort of limbo for many years, without change being really noticeable. I’m more aware now and act accordingly. 

Commonly Used Abbreviations


DH = Dear Husband
DW= Dear Wife, Darling Wife
LO = Loved One
ES = Early Stage
EO = Early Onset
FTD = Frontotemporal Dementia
VD = Vascular Dementia
MC = Memory Care
AL = Assisted Living
POA = Power of Attorney
Read more