Why dh points and grunts

Joydean

 I posted a couple weeks ago about dh just pointing and grunts and had wondered if anyone else had gone through that. Our daughter and granddaughter came out this past weekend and dh was still doing the same thing. They were of course concerned. Today I was talking to him and asked him (again) why he had decided not to try and talk. 

Me: honey please tell me!

Dh: (in his very broken words) because I don’t want to say mean things! 

Me: honey I know you don’t mean them. ( can’t say I know it’s this horrible disease)  don’t stop trying to talk, okay? 

My heart hurt so badly for him. He would never say a mean or ugly word to anybody before Alzheimer’s. He would get on to me if I said something before. I’m glad to know the answer. He had said some really ugly things before he just stopped talking. I find it strange that he remembered saying things when he can’t remember what was said 5 minutes ago. 

sandwichone123

Oh, what a sweetheart! How sad to lock oneself inside to keep from hurting others, and what a wonderful spouse you have! Poor guy.

M1

oh how that must have tugged at your heartstrings......makes me feel sad for him and you both.

ImMaggieMae

Hearing that just breaks my heart. Maybe telling him that you love him often would help. I often walk up to my DH and say, “I need a hug.” And I always get one. We’ve often done that throughout our marriage. He hasn’t said mean things so far with this disease. He does tell me he loves me a lot. Maybe some of that is parroting back my telling him. A few times he’s said, “Thank you for taking care of me.” That makes me feel more tolerant when I’m feeling the burnout of 24/7 care. And sad.

Joydean

Maggie, I do tell him many times each day how much I love him. Each morning he will say 10, because I have often , playing, told him I need to tell him at least 10 times a day how much “I love you “. So yes mam lots of hugs and how much I love you goes on in this home.