2 trips to the ER

Elshack

DH ..92...for the first time wandered out of the apartment and tried to open up the car doors.We live in independent living and a neighbor noticed him and helped him lay down  on the grass and they knocked on my door ( I had been napping as I have fibro and CFS )and we called EMS. DH had brain surgery 4 yrs ago and was diagnosed with Alzheimer's 6 yrs ago. Emergency room found nothing and I brought him home only to call EMS a second time as DH could not walk. His right foot was all swollen. 2 trips to the Eroom and 12 hrs later he was admitted as they found he has 2 foot fractures. Have no idea when that happened as noone who helped him saw him fall. 

So I am a nervous wreck and no family here. I pray they will send him to rehab as I know I can not take care of him. I am 82 and have medical issues. Also DH has  explosive diarrhea due to Crohn's disease. I am at the end of my rope and just need some virtual hugs. Only good part is the hospital is across the street. I have his will which has a Do Not Resusitate directive on it. I can't imagine living without him but I can't imagine living with him and taking care of him. We moved here 3 and 1/2 yrs ago after his brain surgery and they also have AL and memory care . I sure don't have the funds for 2 places...an apartment for me and a place for him. Thanks for reading.

Elshack

Meant to add that the ortho surgeon will see if he needs surgery .

TerryA.

Oh  dear,  I am so sorry you are having to deal with this.  I am just learning the challenge of caring for someone with dementia.  I will keep you and you DH in my prayers.

Sligo177

Elshack,

A big virtual hug from me!!  I can't imagine how hard this is for you, and your DH as well.  You said the hospital is across the street, that is good.  Prayers that he will go to rehab after hospitalization, and prayers for you.  And another hug!!!  Take care of you.

M1

So sorry.  He must have fallen before he was found. I'm sure you're exhausted. Keep us posted when you can.

Ed1937

Elshack, I'm sorry. I don't remember where you live, but it sounds as though Medicaid might be your friend. You should look into that. If he were to come home, it sounds like you would not be able to care for him. Please don't try to do something that you can't do. You probably need to talk to a CELA or another attorney who specializes in Medicaid.

If they want to send him home, tell them you can't take care of him. They will have to find a place for him. DO NOT take him home like that.

Beachfan

Elshack,

Is there someone who can help and support you through this dilemma?  Ed is right- - you need to emphatically say that you cannot care for him at home.  However, be aware that an inpatient rehab stay will only be covered by Medicare following a 3 day inpatient hospitalization.  Too often, patients are considered “under observation” while hospitalized.  Make sure your DH is formally admitted to the hospital for inpatient care.  My mom, age 95, no dementia, living alone, broke her hip.  She was hospitalized “under observation” and recommended for rehab.  I was flabbergasted to learn that her rehab would not be covered due to the non admittance hospital stay.  Thankfully, a friend/social worker intervened and it was rectified, But it wasn’t pretty; I had to stand my ground to advocate for her care.  Good luck.  Someone else may come along with better information for you. 

shardy

(((((Elshack)))))

Ed1937

Beachfan wrote:

an inpatient rehab stay will only be covered by Medicare following a 3 day inpatient hospitalization.  Too often, patients are considered “under observation” while hospitalized.  

That's true, and they will do that if you let them. Finally, now you have the right to fight that decision. Start with the hospital, and go from there.

Jo C.

Hello Dear Elshack, I am so very sorry to hear of what happened and how difficult the care has been on top of your own health conditions.  That is an awful lot to bear; I am glad that you came here to talk to us.

It really is very important to get ahold of the Admissions Office Department of the hospital and ask if your husband has been admitted as an "Outpatient" or an,"Inpatient."  This is extremely important.

Rehab will be paid by Medicare ONLY if the patient has been in the acute hospital for three 24 hour days as an INPATIENT.  However, Medicare lets hospitals admit patients on an "Outpatient" status even if they stay for a week or ten days, etc.

So . . . IF your husband has been admitted as an inpatient, that is just what is desired. Simply check each day with Admitting to ensure your husband is still listed as an inpatient and not changed.

IF your husband has not been admitted on an Inpatient status and is listed as an Outpatient,, get ahold of the doctor quickly and have him/her contact the hospital and have the status changed to Inpatient.  Then call each day to ensure he is still an Inpatient status. Let the discharge planners know that Rehab is the planned transfer when discharge is at hand. Do NOT agree to take him home since that is no longer doable.   Let them know clearly that you can no longer care for him at home and cannot take him back. Do not let anyone talk you out of that.  It makes easy work for them if they can convince you to have him home; but they cannot force that, so stick to your plan.

Once your husband goes to rehab, let the social workers there know that he will need to be cared for at a nursing home level of care as you can no longer care for him at home and do NOT give in; continue to refuse to take home. They will find a bed for him and you can apply for Long Term Medicaid for him for his ongoing care in a care facility.

It sounds a bit harder than it is, just need to keep an eye on things as it can indeed work out the way it needs to be.

You will not be abandoning your dear husband, you will be able to visit with him as much as you wish and can.  He will be in a setting with socialization, activities, with routine and structure. He will have licensed nurses and a good number of care aides to meet his needs.  You can be with him as much as you wish, you will be able to get rest and sleep and be far less exhausted from doing so much on top of your own healthcare needs.

As for needing "two" places, it may well be that your husband will qualify for Medicaid for his cost of care, and you may find that you too may qualify for some assistance. I do not know the state you live in, or I could give you a bit of information.

Please let us know how you are and how things are going; we will be thinking of you and  we truly do care.

J.

Elshack

Thanks for your encouraging words.My niece is the main communicator with the hospital as this was her line of work before she retired. The latest is the ortho Dr will decide if he needs surgery for his foot but the nurse told my niece there is rehab in the hospital and that would be covered by my Medicare Supplement. She let it be know that no way can he be released to my care as I can no longer do it. After the rehab not sure where he will go but no doubt to skilled nursing as that takes Medicaid or maybe a memory place. Day at a time for sure. I do not have unlimited monies.

Ellsie

I am so sorry to hear this. I am sending virtual hugs and many good thoughts your way.

saltom

A big virtual hug to you.  It sounds as if your niece is a good advocate for  you.  I hope you can get some rest and take care of your needs while your husband is in  hospital and rehab.

Jo C.

How wonderful to have your niece to be the advocate for you; that is golden.  Take good care of you too, and also another big hug is being sent down the electronic tether, Let us know how it is all going.

J.