Done

Mainer1

I participated on this site for a while a few years ago when my wife's AD began to have a significant impact upon our lives.  It had actually started with some minor word loss (minor Cognitive Impairment) in 2014, and was finally diagnosed as AD by a Neuropsychiatrist in 2018.  Later that year we had the discussion about possible placement and she  chose the facility in which she would be placed if her condition became too dangerous for her to stay at home.  We progressed through hallucinations, delusions, word salad, not knowing who I was, and finally acute wandering which resulted in her placement June 23, 2019.  In late December of that year she nearly died of a congestive illness (ER doc gave her three days) and was then referred to hospice back in the original facility.  She recovered from the lung illness, but deteriorated by fits and starts, loosing a vast amount of weight (from 132 to 80 pounds by the summer of 2022.)

By late 2021 she had no recognition or cogent speech, and, after breaking her pelvis in January of 2022, was mostly confined to bed and a wheelchair after that.  By early summer she was mostly unresponsive, but still eating, but last week faded rapidly and I got the call from hospice yesterday that we likely had 24 hours.  She died today at about 1 PM after a bit more than 2.5 years in hospice and 3.2 years in memory care at a cost of $320,000.  

My life goes on.  I grieved terribly in 2018, 19 and 20, but really lost her in early 2021.  She would not want me to allow the grief to control my life, so I will be productive, active, and creative as long as I can.  Today I am relieved, sad, somehow guilty (why could I not spare her this), and moving on.  I will not be on this site again, but it helped when I needed it and I am grateful.  Thank you and especially thank you to our incredible hospice team and the self-less caregivers at her facility.  

billS

Best of luck to you, hopefully you can find peace in the future.

JoseyWales

Mainer - I remember when you used to post here. My condolences on the passing of your wife. But you're right, you lost her long ago. May she have peace now.

Thank you for sharing with us. May you find a new path that brings you happiness.

Ed1937

Mainer, I also remember you. Please accept my condolences. I hope the coming days will be good to you.

ElaineD

Dear Mainer,

You did everything possible to love and help your DW.

Please accept my sympathy.  

Love, Elaine

dayn2nite2

I’m so sorry for your loss.

Beachfan

I remember you as well and I am sorry for your loss. May you move forward in peace.  Best wishes.

Joe C.

Mainer, My sincere condolences on the loss of your wife. May you find some peace in the days ahead.

Davegrant

Thanks for sharing and I am sorry for the loss of your wife. I wish you well.

Dave 

mrl

Mainer,

Thank you for reaching out. We missed you. 

Blessings, Michele

Jo C.

Dear Mainer; I so recall your being here and how valiantly you strived to try and do everything as well as could be done.   You have been a faithful and loving presence over such a long period of needs for your dear wife..  I am very sorry for all that has happened.

I send my heartfelt condolences to you and also send warmest of thoughts your way as you move through the "new way" of being.  May you find solace and peace in knowing how much you meant to your beloved wife and all that you did on her behalf over those long years.

J.

Marie58

Mainer, you both fought the good fight. May the Lord bless you as you enter this new phase.