Speech question

May flowers

Does any one else’s loved one refer to themselves in the third person? For example, he rolled himself into a corner and I asked if he was stuck and he said, “No, he can get out if he wants”. He’s doing this more and more.

Just curious.

​fesk

Hello there, May flowers.

Yes. My mother has been doing this for a while. She has not been able to use pronouns correctly for some time, so I think that is what is behind this. She uses he and she incorrectly when referring to people (refers to daughter as he, etc.), so I think she no longer remembers to refer to herself as "I".  

There are also times I think she is talking and answering herself, so I don't know if the "she" she is referring to is that other person? But I have asked her who she is talking to and she will say "myself" so I mostly think it is a pronoun issue.

Hopefully, that makes sense.

May flowers

Makes total sense, thanks

zauberflote

My mom did that! It took me a few times to figure out. She would look out her window at the front porch of her building and say, "I think she lives there." Once she said, "I think she used to live in a place that looked like that."

I didn't know this was a thing!

GothicGremlin

This happens a lot with my sister, although mostly it's the pronouns of other people. If Peggy mentions that "he" did it, or "she" did it, I don't automatically assume the actual gender of the person will match the pronoun she used. She will usually (but not always) refer to herself as "me", or sometimes by her name, but occasionally she'll refer to herself in the 3rd person.

I didn't know this was a thing either!

quartlow2

From other's comments, maybe this is just a "pronoun" thing. But you might google "aphasia" to see if there are other word issues. Not that you'll find a treatment or cure but sometimes understanding gives me more patience.

May flowers

Thanks quart! He definitely has aphasia - most of his speech is word salad with a few numbers thrown in

quartlow2

May flowers wrote:

"Thanks quart! He definitely has aphasia - most of his speech is word salad with a few numbers thrown in"

  

May flowers wrote:

"Thanks quart! He definitely has aphasia - most of his speech is word salad with a few numbers thrown in"

You're in my heart! Aphasia leaves the thinking intact but scrambles the words. It was so confusing for us because it seemed like Mom knew what was going on around her but she couldn't communicate her needs and couldn't understand our questions to clarify her message. The longer I think about it, the more I can imagine how frightening it must have been for her. It would be like being plunged into a different country where everyone is speaking a different language; only, it's your own family. I can understand her trust issues. She might have thought she was communicating her needs but we were ignoring them. I got to where I pointed or gestured or showed her something to get her to do something. And I used a lot of facial expressions and nods rather than words. And I had to be careful with my tone of voice. I'd see her reading and wonder if written\typed sentences made more sense to her. I'd have her read my sister's letter to me out loud. She read them perfectly; word for word. But then she'd point to a sentence and say, "I don't" or "what's this?" Numbers were very confusing to her. Times and dates became a challenge. Before we realized what aphasia was, she'd do the Publisher's Clearinghouse entries. They became increasingly harder for her to do. The instructions are not straightforward for a sane person. They are designed to be confusing so you spend money. She'd read and read until she was sure she understood but she didn't and it drove Dad crazy.

CatsWithHandsAreTrouble

My mom occasionally would refer to herself in third person, mostly whenever she thought she might get in trouble for something so I at first thought she was just trying to lessen the hurt for "being bad" (she never was in trouble for anything). 

She sometimes gets words mixed around, like calling socks feet, so perhaps this is aphasia.

May flowers

Cat - I noticed that issue with my FIL’s language last year. He would substitute words, or talk around something if he couldn’t come up with the word, like “that thing you clean the floor with” for a vacuum for example.

Now, it is more he strings together words that don’t make sense but throw in a phrase here and there… like “He then want up and then (intelligible) spoke week three six five, I told him (unintelligible) so then, and after that.” Followed by “Do you understand?”. 

CatsWithHandsAreTrouble

That is quite the salad! Do you nod and say "yup, I understand"? I myself have been practicing listening to mom and learning how to respond when I don't understand her. Acting surprised or concerned at the right times, things like that. She hasn't gotten to the word salad part yet, but I'm on the watch for it

mommyandme (m&m)

Yes, absolutely.  Been dealing with this for quite awhile.  And opposite world.  Cat/dog, girl/boy… it goes on and on.  Now I’d say cat and dog words are gone and some new made up jumble for those. 

The communication aspect of this gross disease is one of the hardest. 

HollyBerry

My brother used to say he needed a secret decoder ring to translate what my mother was saying.  She had aphasia and dementia after a stroke, so she might say "the girls at work said..." or "they told me I had to go to the airport in Boston..."  and she'd actually be talking about the nurses at her AL facility, who may (or may not) have recommended she go see a specialist at the hospital.