In person support group vs. this forum

Ed1937

I attended three or four in person support group meetings. Here is my take on the pros and cons vs. the forum. I found the in person support group to vary in size from meeting to meeting. When there were larger numbers of attendees, it was at times hard for everybody to have time to talk about what was bothering them, and sometimes not everybody had the chance. When the number of people attending were small (maybe 3 or 4) the input from other members was limited. But the in person group was more beneficial than this forum if you wanted information on something local.

I think the big positive difference for this group is that it's easier to become "family" here because you can  come whenever you want to read what others have to say, and kind of "bond". If you are looking for suggestions, you will generally get more replies here because others don't have to reply right away. They can reply hours, or even days after the original post on the thread was made. 

From my limited experience, I would easily choose the forum over an in person group, although both are good.

JoseyWales

Ed, I completely agree with everything you wrote. 

Here, I can come any time, day or night. In person are only monthly. 

When everything shut down for Covid, we had no in person meetings. For over 2 YEARS. They only started up a couple of months ago. This group was a lifesaver through the worst of our dementia journey.

In person groups have given me contacts for local resources that I would have never known otherwise. And there's nothing like a real, flesh and blood person sitting there talking with you.

Rescue mom

I pretty much agree with Ed’s assessment, but I would hate to have to choose one. Both are great for different things. I really enjoy the IRL socializing.

My IRL support groups are larger, 10-12 people, up to maybe 18-20. The big group isn’t great b/c of limited time —and as with almost any group, 1-2 people can take over, unless the moderator is good at moving along.

But the local resource knowledge is invaluable, as is the social aspect. We can always stay after the meeting and talk, and some of us go to lunch or coffee regularly. It’s good to have friends who understand dementia.

For practical, useful info and problem-solving, this forum is better (and all Ed said). Much of what I hear from counselors and others IRL, is something I already heard here.

DJnAZ

I totally agree with Ed.

 I attend a local Alzheimer's support group that meets 2X per month. Attendees range from 8-10 or as few as 4. While I do appreciate the human contact, I am much further along in the care giving process than the others. I am the only one with a LO in MC. As it works out I probably provide a lot more information that I receive as the others understand I've been where they are going. I have told the local support group about this forum and encouraged they get involved.

This forum, whether I participate in or only read and follow a posting, has been very helpful in many ways. And while we've never met, I feel like I know many of you.

harshedbuzz

Mayor Ed-

I found the IRL and forum to be complementary in terms of what they offered. 

This site is valuable because it is available 24/7; the local support group meets monthly which is less than ideal although it did get mom out of the house which was a break she was reluctant to allow herself.

I found the moderator for the IRL group to be phenomenal at the job. She was excellent at maintaining a pace during the meeting that gave everyone a chance to share. She was also very knowledgeable regarding dad's brand of dementia which is not something I have found here so much. I also found the local information very useful. Not just about things like which MFCs can manage behaviors vs cherry-picking the pleasantly befuddled, but also things like dentists, podiatrists, and even hair stylists who "got" dementia. 

My mom moved back to the area after 20 years when dad was diagnosed. For a time, the people in her IRL group were pretty much the only social interaction she had aside from family. Pre-COVID they used to meet for lunch every month. 

HB

jfkoc

A local inperson support group is, I think, the best resource for local resourses...Drs/facilities/etc.

storycrafter

Good summary, Ed. You covered it all. The different groups serve different needs and both are important. But for me it's been this online group that's most supportive, helpful, and consistent over time. Those last three factors have been a life-saver, especially during the pandemic. The pandemic continues to have ongoing ramifications of isolation for me. This group improves my mental health.

Michael Ellenbogen

 You will get more honest answers her then a support group because the meeting coordinator must cover their you know what. On the other hand, if something is wrong here being said on this forum you are not always going to get the corrected answer and may go down the wrong path because someone is afraid to say what they should say and does not want to offend the person.

sandwichone123

I love this forum and sometimes think I have helpful suggestions/perspectives to offer. I get great, actionable information here. Also, because this forum is bigger than my IRL group there are more likely to be people with less common experiences (early onset, LGBTQ issues, working while caring, etc.).

On the other hand, there is no replacement for hanging out with 3-D people who understand. The support is different, but not less.

Iris L.

The benefit of these boards is that everything is discussed, even intimate, sensitive situations.  There is nothing that has not already been experienced.  Plus, the members give pertinent advice, better than many professionals.  

Iris

Ed1937

Absolutely, Iris. I've seen several threads that would likely never have been mentioned if people had to face one another. And some of that is actually important to know.