not recognizing people

michiganpat

My DH is in early stages of FTD I believe. His doctor agrees. He refuses further testing after the initial office test suggested MCI over a year ago. From the beginning, 4 years ago, he has had trouble recognizing people he doesn't see often. He also didn't recognize our 41 year old son in a picture from 8 years ago. Last week he met up with our sister in law of over 50 years who he has not seen for the past 20 years. She started talking to him in her very distinctive voice. I recognized her immediately and was walking over to them when I heard him ask her who she was. I always thought not recognizing people happened later in the disease. My DH was very upset and told me there was something wrong with either his brain or his eyes. A short while later he decided it was her fault because she had aged so badly. Have others had this happen in the early stages? He has changed a lot this summer and I think he is maybe moving out of the early stage.

Rick4407

Yes I would agree he is a little beyond early stage.  My DW does not recognize me, that happened fairly early for her, I would say soon after MCI.   It was initially episodic, mostly she would but occasionally not.  She started to fear I was a stranger.   Now at late stage 6, she knows I am here and that I help her but she has no idea of any relationship.  We are quite literally together 24/7.  She also no longer recognizes her children or grand children.  I would guess that loss of recognition varies from one person the the next.  Sorry.  Good luck, Rick

Faith,Hope,Love

Hi Michigan!  I'm originally from Michigan too.  I grew up on the outskirts of Jackson.  My DH refused further testing after they were able to originally diagnose him with FTD.   He insisted that the diagnosis was wrong and that he was fine.  At that point, I was almost tempted to agree with him because he seemed mostly normal.  I'm glad I continued with a neurologist because over the months after that it became clear there was a big problem.  In what I'm seeing with DH and talking with our neuro I think some of it just depends on the individual.  I think everyone progresses at a different rate.  He also can't accept that he can't remember things, can't do the things he used to do etc.  He blames everything on somebody else.  It's sad to watch and it's not easy.  I tried very hard in the beginning to get him to realize the problem was with him.  But you can't argue with someone with FTD.  I found out quickly that I would always lose.

michiganpat

Hi Faith,Love, Hope. I live in Northern Michigan, born and raised. It took me awhile but I also figured out you can't win an argument with a dementia person. Now I just keep quiet and let him talk, mostly. There are times it is a real challenge and I don't always succeed! I think the beginning was the toughest as he acted normal so much I questioned if I was right. Now there is no doubt. It is so extremely sad. Thanks, Rick. That is a fear of mine that someday my DH won't recognize me or our kids. It was a shock when he couldn't tell it was our son in a picture, asking who the guy was. I sympathize with you. This is tough.

Jo C.

I am from the UP of Michigan.  My LO had FTD. Originally, recognition was not a problem issue until later stages of the disease..  What eventually first became an issue.was severe difficulty in actual visual processing.  Reading was the first skill that could not be processed.  Next was the inability to watch television.  The processing for that was so slow that as one action on the television was being processed by the damaged brain, ten other actions could have occurred and it made my LO frustrated and outright angry.  My LO blamed the television and the inability to read on bad glasses.  I took it seriously as one never knows.  We saw an Ophthalmologist in a lengthy exam.  The eyes were fine, the eyelass prescription was fine - the changes were indeed due to the evolving FTD.

There came a time, later in the disease, when my LO no longer recognized me.  It was a sad time, but it was okay as I was recognized as a "nice person," and I knew who my LO was, so I was able to accept that; it was though, a very poignant loss.

It is more of a problem to recognize old photos or a person one has not seen for 20 years; things would have changed so much, so I would not count that too much.  What would be more concerning would be if there was lack of recognition of family members and spouse close to them in proximity who they saw more often.

It is a merciless disease of many losses.

J.

Lynne D

I just have to say that it cracks me up that him not recognizing his sister because “she aged so badly.” That would be my husband, blaming others for his deficits! 

Stay sane and hang in there!