New behavior - advice?

May flowers

So, this was a new one, and I hope we won’t see it again…

Last night my DH was feeding his dad, but his dad was angry and hitting DH’s arm when he would offer him a bite. First we thought it meant he wasn’t hungry, but he kept asking for his food, but when we offered a bite, he hit it away, cussing, etc. Then we thought he didn’t like the food, but he ate it voraciously when we were actually able to get the food to his mouth and kept telling us to feed him more. I know he wanted us to feed him faster, but we had to wait until he swallowed to give him the next bite. At one point I held his hands and DH fed him and he ate it like he was starving. We tried giving him the plate, the spoon, but then he just fussed that we weren’t feeding him.  

It’s not like he didn’t eat all day - he had 2 eggs, sausage, gravy, biscuit, 2 ensures, peanut/chocolate granola, sandwich, chips, another snack, juice, milk and 4 (mio juice) teas. The dinner was chicken nuggets, potatoes, gravy and green beans. Dinner was the only one we had this issue. He has stopped feeding himself with a spoon now. He’s still doing finger foods, but needing a lot of reminding. 

Any thoughts?

SusanB-dil

ugh! Sorry, only thought is that I agree that we hope it doesn't happen again...  ((hugs))

mommyandme (m&m)

My first thought is he’s venting his frustration that he can’t feed himself but wants to. Maybe some recognition of his reality.  His son is having to feed him after all.  Can’t be easy for our LOs when/if they realize what’s happening. 

When I’m changing my mom in bed sometimes she looks at me, maybe knowing I’m her daughter, and says “what are you doing?”  I take it as maybe she can’t possibly grasp why her own daughter would be doing something of this nature.  Maybe she understands she’s in a hospital bed and a professional should be doing it?  Who knows really.  I just tell her “I know this is hard and you don’t want to do this, believe me it’s hard for me too and I don’t wanna do it either.  Here we are, you and me, somehow we’ll get through this, I love you.”  I think it helps her but again, who knows.  For me it’s another intimate time where we possibly connected as mother and daughter. 

May flowers

M&M, that possibility makes total sense. Plus with his pronoun mix up he may have been fussing that he couldn’t feed himself rather than we weren’t feeding him.

I’ve noticed too that sometimes everything is backwards - I will ask if he wants ice cream (there has never been a day that he would say no to ice cream)… but he would emphatically say “No!”. Then a few minutes later, “Where is my ice cream?!”  Or I hand him his favorite snack and he says, “I don’t want it!” But when I go to take it from him, he says, “Give it back!”  All of these are followed by a string of expletives and name calling.

Sigh. I hate dementia.

Lafmore

I don't have experience with the eating issues, but my sister has had outbreaks like that around bathroom issues. She went several days where she was yelling, swearing, and hitting the caregivers as they tried to clean her up. I was concerned it was a permanent behavior change. Fortunately it was not. I have seen a couple other "outbursts" so far, but not for days in a row  and not as violent or angry. So, for my sister, it was not a sudden and permanent change, but I do not doubt that it will return down the line. Not only makes their care challenging, but is so heartbreaking to see behavior that, at least for my sister, is so uncharacteristic.

May flowers

Lafmore, we had that around bathroom issues, especially the morning cleanup. At first, keeping him covered, warm, and reassuring would calm him, but at some point it didn’t work anymore and we had to resort to meds. He now takes risperdol 1 hour before his morning change and cleanup and it works well. Sometimes he sleeps through the whole thing, but it doesn’t make him groggy the rest of the day. So, meds may be something to consider (and I am one who would rather use a supplement than a med for anything, but this was one we had to get under control)