Refusing PT

JC5

The husband’s neurologist suggested he go to PT for balance concerns.  Unfortunately my DH doesn’t not want to put any effort into doing most challenging things including PT. He agreed at first then didn’t go to appointment. Now he refuses to reschedule saying he doesn’t think it will help him. I’ve probably made the major mistake of logically explaining to him how beneficial it would be for him and for us. Our life together has become almost non existent. He doesn’t initiate conversation, he doesn’t go for walks because he complains his legs hurt and feels off balance, no chores around the house just constant anger. What does one do?

Faith,Hope,Love

Hi JC5 and welcome to the forum.  Not sure I can really answer your question, but I can offer what kind of worked for me.  I had a similar problem with my DH.  My solution was to get creative.  Not sure if this would work with your hubby, but here's what I did.  Our doctor suggested my husband walk every day since he wasn't getting any exercise at all.  He started out doing fine, but soon got to the point to where he didn't want to walk any more.  I went thru all the explaining and tried using logic.  Then, I realized that logic doesn't work for him any longer.   So, I realized that he loves to do jigsaw puzzles.  I set him up with his favorite puzzle on the dining room table.  However, he has to stand to work on the puzzle.  Sitting isn't comfortable at our table, and due to the lighting, you have to stand to see the pieces accurately.  So, while he isn't walking like he should be, at least he is standing and not sitting.  Is it a perfect solution?  Absolutely not.  But it's the best I can do, and I consider it better than nothing.

Vitruvius

Not much help, but here's our story. 

A year ago DW's neurologist also recommended PT for balance issues. DW actually was OK with going and did the exercises at the facility, I think because she appreciated the attention of the therapist. After the run of sessions they said we now had an exercise regimen we could do at home and they could do no more for her. She was not as interested in doing the exercises at home and so I didn't push it much as frankly I saw little actual benefit. We still did some for a while but not diligently. 

This is strictly my own opinion but PT seems geared for strengthening muscles and coordination. I am sure there is benefit to an exercise regime, it probably helps slow the decline. But for PWD however it seems to me that the problem is that the brain is dying and can no longer properly control the muscles and no amount of exercise is likely to change that.

We still walk every day, but our walks are getting shorter.  DW gets exhausted going over a half mile. Just a year ago we could do 2-3 miles without a problem, but even as we were going through PT we had to scale this back. She also now walks noticeably stooped forward. The neurologist now thinks she has been developing Parkinsonian symptoms, so I guess one never really knows what the causes of our LO's issues are until it's over, if then. 

Rescue mom

My experience is similar. DHs “family doc” advised PT. We went for a few months, DH didn’t object although his “performance” wasn’t very good, at best. I also think he enjoyed the attention.

He refused do any exercises at home, even if I did them alongside. He soon became more reluctant to go. After maybe 3 months the therapists said he got no benefit from 1-2 visits a week (even if they came to house). Nor could he remember/apply what he was told, unless I talked him through it every time, which irritated him.

As others said, we walk as much as possible, and I try to get him to do any kind of moving activity, small as it seems. Asking him to reach (stretch) up for some things is easiest. But not enough to really help, except I think/hope anything is better than nothing.

As you found, logical explanations don’t work with this disease. To your other comments..Yes your life has changed, and will almost certainly change even more.  That’s what this disease does. The partner (and relationship) we had is changing fast. It’s not just the patient who suffers. You may want to look at the “new and floundering” thread in this forum, especially the link to the online resource “Understanding the Dementia Experience.”

Rick4407

Hello JC5.  After my years here and reading of many many experiences I've become rather fatalistic.  I know where this journey ends.  

A couple of years ago some one posted, I do not recall who, "it's not the length of life it's the quality."  I've thought about that for several years and so within reason we pretty much do what my DW wants.  We do not do what she does not want to do.  She's late stage 6 and remains fairly cheerful and cooperative.  

Will PT help delay symptoms?  No easy answers to that question.  Good luck, Rick

Pat6177

DH’s PCP gave him a referral to PT and he told her he would go. When the PT office called to schedule, he said he would go when he got his strength up. Yup, I tried logical explanations that didn’t work. So I also try to get him to walk every day. But over the past 6 months or so, he has developed “wooziness” and “wobbliness” that is slowly but surely getting worse. I don’t think this is due to weakness, I think it’s part of his dementia experience. I think the source of the problem is in his broken brain. Sure, I’d like to see him try the PT but I agree with Rick, if he doesn’t want to do it, then ok. 

As for the constant anger, JC5, I have no suggestions. I’m just starting to see more frequent anger seep into our daily lives. So far, it’s easy enough to shut up and ignore it.

jfkoc

I can personally tell you that lack of balance is a real problem. I suggest getting a rollater. It has made me less fearful.

Another helpful thing is going to the market and walking more aisles than needed.