I need advice please(1)

bigfoot2you

My DH has this thing he does every day and it's getting worse.  He says "well, i've gotta go"  says he has to go home and see his mother............home has been sold many years and his mother has been dead for many years.   He fusses all day about going home,  sometimes he gets really angry  I won't give him the truck keys........twice he has left t walk to the police station to tell the cops on me.  I call them and they b ring him home.  I wonder if it would do any good if I took him to see there is someone living in the old home or would it make things worse?  No matter what I tell him in 2 minutes we are back into it...........he's really slipped this month

jfkoc

Here is a "google" to get you started with this all too common request. Hope it helps.

https://blog.thealzheimerssite.greatergood.com/go-home-trick/

There are more sites about this online. I think the key is validation.

White Crane

 You might try telling him something like his mother called and said today was not a good day to visit. Or you could tell him that there’s construction work going on and the road is closed and won’t be open till tomorrow or his mother isn’t home today. Any excuse you can think of that he would believe.

Telling him his mother is dead may cause new grief or he might not believe you. Try to redirect and tell him that he can visit tomorrow. When tomorrow comes and uses the same excuses. I know it’s hard.  I hope this helps. Sending hugs. 

ImMaggieMae

I think White Crane has some good solutions. Taking him to the old house to see someone else is living there would probably just make him feel bad. And he would likely forget the trip by the next day. Or even sooner. I’m sorry you’re having to go through this.

Bussey

Wife wants to go home and go to work. Wants her car. Doors are locked and she becomes enraged. She won't listen to me as I calmly try to explain

sandwichone123

Bussey, welcome. Don't explain. It doesn't make sense to her. Come up with an excuse that makes sense to her and use that. Her brain isn't processing rational explanations any more, she probably doesn't realize she has a problem at all, and telling her she does will only make her mad.

Arrowhead

I tried taking my wife to her childhood home for the same reason. It didn't help.

FriendinCalifornia

Hi Bigfoot, I found this video very helpful when my family member with AD became obsessed with “going home”. The idea that home is a *feeling*—not a place—made a lot of sense. When we started by addressing that feeling, in the same way the lady describes in the video, the situation became much easier.

I WANT TO GO HOME ~ Help Calm this Common Dementia Behavior Issue [Dementia With Grace]
https://youtu.be/uIHuDNU6ABs