DW Angry About Having a Caregiver

trm

Hi All:  My first post here.  My DW is declining rapidly.  It is very difficult to deal with her anger.  I am trying my 2nd Caregiver today and she is beyond angry.  I would full time at home and it is so hard to work and ensure she eats, etc.  Ideas on how to have her open to a Caregiver?

Hoot619

Maybe it is time for MC, her anger will be getting worse and worse and it will effect you. We don't realize how bad it is and it's taking us down at the same time. Hoot

Rescue mom

I’m struggling with the same problem; have gone through a few already because DH hates having others in the house.

One usual tactic is, do not tell the PWD the aide is there for them, or to help them. Tell the PWD the aide is there to help *you*.  That worked for me a little, very early, until the aide did anything at all for DH, then DH got mad.

Or, some say telling the PWD the aide is an old friend down on their luck, who just needed a little help/some work. This has worked for some here; although my DH didn’t care if they had problems or  needed help.

It often takes some time, and trying different people, before things click.

Have you thought about adult day care—which also often must be passed off as a new social club, or neighborhood meeting, or some kind of activity center that might interest her.  The workers know how to handle reluctant clients if you can get her there.

sandwichone123

PWD are best with routine, and any change can be difficult for them. It can take a long time for something new to feel like part of the routine, and it's hard to keep doing something they don't respond well to. Once they're used to having someone around with another excuse it's still sometimes hard to get them to accept care from that person.

A best bet may be to find a caregiver with dementia experience, who knows how to work around those barriers.