I am at my wits end..........

bigfoot2you

I have mentioned before that DH  constantly insists he needs to go home and find his mother.  Home has been sold long ago and his mother has been dead for 10 years..........he has lost his license to drive and keeps insisting he needs the truck keys.   In the past I have been able to talk him down but now it's become an all day thing.  From the time he gets up till bed all he does is fuss about getting the keys and going home.  I have upped his meds,  tried every kind of distraction I know, got mad,  moved the truck so he can't see it.........yesterday he ran off,  walking to home........i called the cops again and had them go pick him up and bring him home....he had some kind of story he made up to them.   We have sat here for an hour and he's asked to go home at least 20 times...........he doesn't know who his daughter is........he doesn't know I'm his wife............all he knows is he has to stay here and wants to go home.  I'm thinking of starting the placement to MC before I lose my mind...........

Dio

So sorry you're going through this. I think it's time to consider MC or at least temporary stay somewhere until they get the right mix of medications. Others who are more experienced may have other recommendations. What meds, if any, is he taking? What is recommended by his health/medical care team?

Hoot619

Do you have a CELA that would be the 1st thing that should be done. They can advise you on what you should do. Don't do anything with money property etc til you talk to one.  This is for your own protection  . That comes FIRST before MC.  Others will chime in and explain it better.

I'm seeing my CELA the coming Monday for the 2d time.  He keeps me out of the pitfalls that could cost me a lot. Wishing you the best, this caregiver stuff is not a easy thing.   Hoot

bigfoot2you

What is a CELA?

Crushed

Certified elder law attorney

Specialist in  law and old people 

Ed1937

I agree with Hoot. You need to have all your bases covered before doing much of anything. MC might be in the near future, and if you haven't already toured some facilities, it's time to do that. You don't want to wait for a disaster, and be forced to take whatever you can get. Some facilities have respite beds, and that can give you a good idea about the place.

jfkoc

Re certified attorney;  https://www.naela.org/

Re going home: https://video.search.yahoo.com/search/video?fr=mcafee&ei=UTF-8&p=teepa+snow+gohome&type=E211US105G91561#id=1&vid=0569c317839809d703f5fe32aa3

There are other discussions about going home on line. It is a common problem and not very easy to handle.

If you try Teepa please let us know the results.

Gig Harbor

Bigfoot I agree with it being time to consider placement. I placed my husband in June. He is doing OK there and is actually more entertained than he was at home. I think there are two types of spouses. Some take to caregiving and as it becomes their life work they are able to accept it. Others like me still want to be able to enjoy some retirement while they can. Since he did not always recognize our house and was captive here until I could go outside with him I think he actually has more freedom there. I feel guilty and sad everyday but I can breathe again and I like waking up in the morning.

toolbeltexpert

BF2U I think it's maybe time, reading your post just reinforced my decision to keep trying for a placement.  Do try and get some of the legals done. CELA I waited to long. Now if I sell my home it might get complicated. I'll make it ok though.

Hoot619

Toolbelt, Before you do anything get a CELA if you haven't already

 . There are to many pitfalls that can really screw us if we put our LO's in MC  first.  This is to protect you and your assets, yes it is costly . But they know the ins and out of elder care. The phone call or 1st visit is free. I don't think anybody is sorry they did it. Hoot