Cleaning for a person with Dementia

Mitmont

Hello,  Brand new to the message board.  Wish I didn't need to be here. Would like any suggestions on cleaning around my LO who has had memory issues for a long time and was just diagnosed with Dementia.  The house is very cluttered with lots of trip and fall hazards.  

This is going to be a challenge.  Thanks in advance.

towhee

Welcome to the forum Mitmont. For trip hazards, it might be helpful to ask your doctor for an occupational therapy visit to do a home evaluation. They can sometimes see problems you miss and having an authority figure say that the throw rugs need to go might be helpful in lessening your LOs possible ire. Clutter that is not in a direct walking path might be more of a problem. Many of our LOs have a tendency to hoard as well as a need for the environment to stay familiar and can get very upset if items are moved, sometimes descending into accusations of theft and other hard to deal with behaviors. Since logic and reason rarely work and often make things worse it is well to be careful. Tip #1  Don't say "this needs to be thrown away". Make things valuable, example, the kids at church would really appreciate some newspaper for their project.  If LO gets upset don't push. You don't want them to have the emotional memory that  you wanted things gone. If voluntary cleaning does not work than move on to doing it without permission.  #2  Never move items when your LO can see you doing so, or hear you doing so. #3  Don't leave items to be removed from home in a place where LO can find them, especially trash cans. #3 Start small, don't remove a complete stack of something, just thin it, and see if there is a reaction.  #4  Be ready with an apology and excuse if necessary, such as sorry, I moved it because I was trying to find my wallet that I dropped.

Good luck

rlpete

Mitmont, 

All good suggestions from towhee. One thing that caught me by surprise with my wife was our dog as a tripping hazard. As you can see from the picture, he is light colored and my wife's vision has deteriorated such that she wouldn't see him on some of our light colored wall to wall carpet. I had to get a bright red harness that he now wears all the time. If there are any pets involved, consider them too. 

Good luck. 

harshedbuzz

Mitmont-

The approach is going to depend, in part, on your relationship to the PWD, whether you have legal authority (POA/guardianship) and whether it's a hoarding situation.

I agree with towhee on bringing an OT into the house to make suggestions. The OT from the rehab where dad was after the hospitalization during which he was finally diagnosed came to the new apartment in which I had set them up. We didn't have clutter as yet, but the OT made some suggestions to keep things safe in the context of early mid-stage dementia-- lowering the temperature on the hot water heater, removing knives, firearms and anything else that can be weaponized (dad could be aggressive), removing throw rugs, reconfiguring electrical cords, moving furniture that is too flimsy to be leaned on when moving around the room. 

For "stuff", especially as it approaches hoarder status, it's easiest to do this behind the PWD's back. It's unlikely they can participate in a way that won't interfere with your progress. Ideally, you want them out of the house making sure to remove the bagged items before their return. Other folks have chosen to make slower progress during naps or before they're up for the day hiding the bags in the trunk of their car for disposal later. While going through things, be sure to make sure you secure important papers so your PWD doesn't hide or destroy them. 

Mail can be a surprising source of clutter. Putting all bills and statements on paper-billing/autopay can help a lot. Putting in a change of address and forwarding mail to a PO box or your home can be helpful, too. 

HB

May flowers

You have received a lot of good advice already. I don’t have much to add except that once you get the tripping hazards taken care of, make sure you go through the papers, bills, etc. my FIL used to be meticulously organized but everything had become a real mess and he wouldn’t let my MIL sort through anything. We were able to locate important papers, insurance, wills, titles, bank information etc and put them away for safekeeping, as well as locate all bills and convert them to online pay (which we handled). 

When we finished going through his papers, we had about 25 garbage bags full of shredded  paper. He had saved every bill since the 1960s!

Rescue mom

I thought my DH, with Alzheimer’s (maybe stage 5 then) would notice and object when I started clearing out his closet, where empty space would be clearly visible.

Nope. He never noticed the empty, cleared-out shelves and racks. Did. Not. Notice. I was stunned.

BUT the trick with everything —not just closet—was for him to NOT see me taking anything. If he saw me, or if he found things in the trash bin, it was a major scene. He’d bring it all, plus more actual trash, back inside. 

That meant I had to do it in smaller amounts than normal, at times when he was otherwise occupied. It took longer, but that’s what it took. And I had to take it away somewhere immediately, I couldn’t leave it in a trash bin, even outside. DH would root through those. 

It was amazing to me though, how he never noticed things were gone otherwise. Of course he forgot we’d had (whatever), but he didn’t even notice the “new” space.

If your LO is still cognizant enough to understand, you could ask/ talk about it. But usually by the time you ask this question, they are past that point and you just have to act.

As others have said, there are organizations that will come to your house and assess other things for trip-and-fall dangers. You can probably find them by calling your local Alzheimer’s Association, or Area on Aging, or Senior Care—whatever it’s called where you are.

Also, what was said about checking for money or important papers. My mother stashed cash everywhere, nowhere sensible, and forgot it. DH lost things like tax info, financial documents, and titles…