Male vs female patients

Gig Harbor

I am realizing that it is easier for memory care units to have female patients. My husband is friendly and social but since all the caregivers are young women he sometimes gets too frisky. He also mildly threatens them when they ask him to do things because I think he likely does not like being told what to do by a young girl. He is definitely one of the busier men on his unit and is always walking around talking nonsense to anyone who will listen. He also loves to rearrange things in his dresser and closet. He has taken out his shoelaces and who knows where they ended up. He likes to hide things but sometimes I think he sneaks them into the garbage. His glasses are missing but since his cataract surgeries his vision is actually ok without them. When I go I make a list of items that are missing and give it to the staff so they can be on the lookout. He did the same things at home so I am not upset. He is starting to look disheveled because he no longer tucks in his shirts and he shuffles around. It is a change in two months for sure. When I visit he tells everyone around him that I am his wife but then doesn’t seem to really care if I am there or not. When I arrive it seems to trigger him to think he needs to find people to fix things or that he needs to look for people. I pretty much spend my time straightening his room and doing his nails if they need it. When I leave I feel guilty that he is no longer at home but then I tell myself that this is my turn to take care of myself so that ultimately I won’t die before him and leave his care to our daughter.

Nowhere

Gig,

I see the difference, too! Both my mom and dad with senior dementia. Both broke hips. My mom (passed last Christmas) was so easy in comparison to care for. My dad is like a hawk wondering where everyone is, why they aren’t helping him, and restless. My mom so much more patient. 

My husband, like yours, is so very busy both when he was home and for the past almost two years of memory care. He won’t sit. He’s a pacer, foot tapper, and a fiddler. He looks so able to take care of himself and he can if stand by observe/remind (i/e)  step by step to remind him to soap, lather, rinse, brush teeth, etc. trouble is he declines help. Thinks he’s fine. He cannot seem to relax unless he’s sound asleep. He was once such a nice dresser, and still wears a dress shirt, sweater, and slacks, but I wonder if he takes them off at night as everyday he wears the same thing. My husband has so much energy even though he grows thin and has lost muscle tone. 

Wishing you and your husband peace!