Repatriation and back to point 0

French

 Hello to all of you

I spent 15 very difficult days. My partner hospitalized in Tunisia after a neuroleptic malignant syndrome. I spent this time organizing his repatriation with my insurance. A lot of difficulties all along

- at the beginning the Tunisian doctor who said that he was not transportable (9 days)

- then the insurance who wanted to wait for him to be transported in a commercial plane. I had to fight to explain that it would never be the case since they were not giving him neuroleptics anymore. I begged them to hurry up.

- then no place in the hospital here... or if a place but a doctor who asked for a letter from an MCF who would take him as soon as he was cured. And that's impossible to get on short notice and in August. His doctors are on leave and couldn't help me. I called the hospitals myself and as Thursday I collapsed, discouraged, a geriatrician of an association has taken the relay and yesterday morning, she found a place I will never be able to thank her enough.

- repatriation by private plane is next Monday for the hospital of our city in internal medicine. 

- and all along this hell, the director of the MCF (French man, not Tunisian) where my partner was harassing me to pay more money (In anticipation of the hospital bill) . Now he has taken my partner’s passport and I expect him to ask me to make a new bank transfer to give it. Since I didn't pay the very large amount he was asking for, with no justification, yesterday he forbade the caregiver to go to the hospital and spend the day with my partner.

I am relieved and at the same time really worried about the state in which I will find my partner who will have been tied up in the hospital for 19 days.

My next mission, to find a place in MC... back to point 0. The geriatric will help me. She already has contacted MCF.

In this disease, I learnt that you mustn’t stay alone. You have to speak, to explain to people what you are living. No modesty or shame. By speaking you will learn from the other and you will also find unexpected support. 

Fairyland

Oh French I’m so sorry! What a complete and utter nightmare for you. The geriatrician was a Godsend but you do need to ask for more help and assistance  from any source you can find. Is there something like hospice care you could have for him as an alternative to MCF place- that is end-of-life care but often people are put “on hospice” then get better and go off again.

As for the director of the place acting this way, worried about being paid, I wonder if the embassy might be contacted for assistance in repatriating their citizen.

M1

I agree that contacting the embassy might be a good idea.  As usual you have done a magnificent job negotiating a very difficult situation.....don't beat yourself up French.  Keep us posted how it goes.

White Crane

Dear French, words fail me.  I am so sorry you are having to go through this.  And sorry your partner is having to go through it, too.  Praying for you to find your way through this.

Ed1937

To me it sounds as if the director of the MCF has broken the law. How can he possibly do that, and get away with it?

I'm sorry you are dealing with so much resistance. But I'm glad you finally found someone to help.

Quilting brings calm

This is not the first time I have heard of a medical facility trying to confiscate a passport.  I have a friend ( not old enough for Medicare and not cognitively impaired) who was on vacation in a foreign country.  She became ill and was hospitalized.  The hospital wanted to keep her passport.  Luckily her spouse just never gave it to them.  She thinks it was because the hospital wanted her to pay the bill before she was discharged.  

I always make a copy of our passport photo page and take it in my purse  and that is what I would present to anyone other than  a government, legal  or airport official.  We usually leave the actual passports in the hotel safe. 

JoseyWales

Wow, there's so much going on for you. I am amazed at all you have done, through all those roadblocks.

You're right about not going this alone. I'm glad we can all be here to share.

Jo C.

je suiss desole, French.  It is a dreadful spot to find oneself.  It is good you are a strong person of determination.  Do you have a copy of the Passport and would consulting the French Embassy in Tunisia be helpful?

Alas; it is true regarding such behaviors in other countries.  It is a scandal.  As Adminsitrator of Patient Care Management at a large USA med center, we had a patient that had to fight hard to get back to the U.S. from Mexico.

A U.S. couple were vacationing in Mexico.  Late one night, they were driving back to their hotel from a restaurant on a country road in the dark; headlights from the car were the only light.  What they did not see was that a wire cable had been stretched across the road so as to stop the car for intended robbery . . . unfortunately, the wife had her arm outside the car - it was caught on the cable and literally amputated from her body.

She was rushed to the hospital in Mexico where they unsuccessfully tried to reattach her arm.  She was in terrible shape and was in the hospital for several weeks.  When it came time to discharge; the hospital refused to let her go UNTIL the very high bill was paid in full.  The couple had no financial ability to do so; they had to fight with the insurance company. The embassy could not do or did not do anything helpful.  The hospital literally placed a guard at the patient's door so she could not leave the room. FINALLY: the insurance company that originally refused to pay the bill decided to do so on humanitarian grounds.  Each day spent in the hospital, the bill continued to up.

They finally got her out of the hospital and onto a plane. The hospital, stunningly, sent her arm along in an ice chest.  Nightmare.

French; keep at this.  I do not now how French health insurance works; will they pay the "bill" so you can get the passport?   Even if you have to go to the news media to get that exposure into the public eye , anything that will be helpful to get that passport back is fair game.   I would imagine the offending care facility would not want to have that negative public media exposure for business reasons.

Best wishes go out to you for a swift resolution for Monday's planned transfer home.

J.

French

He arrived yesterday. They where late because the toll asked them to pay a larger amount than the one that the insurance had prepared. The doctors had to bargain during 2 hours for something like 30$

Arrive pd at the hospital he was completely panicked. Happy to see me but also crying. He always want my hand but squeeze it so hard that I can’t let it. He even bit me.

In 3 weeks, he has lost the 8kg he gained since December. We have manage to have him eating compotes and yogurt but nothing else. He spits out every solid or salty food. Even sweet food, I let the hospital with lot of spot on my clothes. 

He has declined a lot.

Today he was a little better. The doctors try to find out what medication he exactly had to propose a new treatment. I am confident.

Joe C.

French, I am sorry that you are in such a predicament. I hope you can resolve the financial issues with the MC so they return the passport and you can get your partner home.

Joydean

French, so happy to hear your partner made it. Prayers for you and your partner the new doctors will get the right meds for him. Wow, all you have been through is mind boggling! Take care of yourself! 

Jo C.

I have been thinking of you so much.   I am relieved to hear that your Partner has made it back to France.  It must feel exhausting.

He probably had a traumatic time being transferred and was frightened, and now finds himself in a strange place with so many changes.  With most persons with dementia, that will often set them back and unsettle them for awhile.  Change is not the friend of a person with dementia.  In this country, much is written about, "Hospital Induced Delirium."  That is often a factor with changes for our Loved Ones.

Here is a link regarding Hospitals and Delirium; I am sorry it is only in English, but it was not available in French.

https://betterhealthwhileaging.net/hospital-delirium-what-to-do/

As for the refusal of food, I wonder about two things.

Sometimes, some medications can cause a very bad taste from food - a sort of strong metallic taste. It may be something to ask the physician or pharmacist about; if that is an issue, perhaps an adjustment can be made.

Also, it may be that he has problems with foods of certain consistency or feel.  Once he is settled, he may possibly benefit from a Swallow Evaluation to ascertain if swallowing is becoming a problem.

Sending you and your Partner very best wishes for things to begin to improve and for peace to be found.

J.