Neighbor Has Alz Need HELP!

TK67

You all gave wonderful advice when my mother, who had Alzhimers, lived with me.  Now, I  need advice about my next door neighbor.  

My neighbor is in her late 60s and has Alzheimer's.  She has started roaming the neighborhood and recently I saw her take mail out of one neighbor's mailbox and take it home with her.  Today, she tried to open my front door and when that didn't work she went through my back gate and into my backyard.  I went out and redirected her home.  I spoke to her husband and he didn't seem to care at all.  I've also seen her try to enter the house across the street.  Her closest neighbors know that she has Alzheimer's but the extended neighborhood does not.  I'm worried she is going to wonder off and not be found or she will try to enter someone's house and they will think she is a prowler and shoot her.  Her husband doesn't seem to take this seriously.  It is as if he's afraid to admit how bad she has gotten because he's afraid his life will change - which it will - we all know that.  

Anyway, my question is how can I support them without becoming her caregiver.  My mother passed away last October, I'm just 54, and I am just now getting my life back together. I want to help my neighbor but I also don't want to have another burden.  Any advice?

May flowers

Yikes, that is a disaster waiting to happen. Do they have any children you could try and contact to let them know what is going on?

dayn2nite2

Do not “support.”  Report to Adult Protective Services in your state.

Michael Ellenbogen

Do you know how old the person is about?

eaglemom

I'm sure seeing the neighbor do these things stirs up many emotions for you. Its wonderful that you are trying to help. However, as you've said, I think the husband is clearly in denial. Or he does see it and is choosing to ignore it.

Do you know these people well? Are there any adult children you would feel comfortable in calling and voicing your concern? I would write down the local ALZ Chapter phone number on a piece of paper for your neighbor. When you see the husband out take it to him and simply say your concerned for his wife's safety. Hand him the paper with the phone number and say you won't hesitate to notify the authorities if you see her wandering again. You might loose him as a friend, but personally I think its worth it to get his wife getting the proper care & for her being safe.

Let us know how it goes.

eagle

loveskitties

Adult protective services is definitely who you need to contact to report this behavior.  By removing mail from another's box and taking it home, she has already committed a federal offense.

Since her husband seems not to want to address her illness, it is unlikely that any adult children will be able to make any headway either.

If you are reluctant to make that call, at least call the police when you see her wandering the neighborhood....that is for her protection.

Ed1937

We live in a town of about 18,000. If this happened to our neighbors, I would call the police, and ask someone to have a talk with him. I wouldn't want to call adult protective services unless necessary, because that is something they don't need if there's another solution. Fixing the problem without APS getting involved would be my goal. But if necessary, APS would be involved. But that's just me.

abc123

As a safety precaution for your neighbor, I would call the local police first. tell them what you've told us. I think that would be a good start. You are a good neighbor.

I am sorry for the loss of your mother.

loveskitties

In our town, if you call the police about situations such as this, they will notify APS if they find any issues