First weekend

sandwichone123

On Friday I took my dh to memory care. As soon as we got there he said, "I know what this is and I'm not staying." Eventually a nice activities person took him round and introduced him to people and I populated his room and slipped out. It was smoother than I expected.

Later that evening I called and the nurse said he'd had a good day and told his stories to everyone. I was content.

Saturday, he called me and said he was stuck in his room all the time because there was nothing to do. He loves me and wants to come home.

Sunday he called me and said there was an activity but he went to his room instead and they're not feeding him enough. He loves me and wants to come home. He says if I let him come home he won't walk around any more but will stay home and help out, cleaning up. I called and asked them to give him double portions.

The point is, this transition is going really, really well, and it hurts much more than I expected. I have been puttering around the house, taking care of stuff, and looking like I feel fine, but I do not feel fine and I still can't concentrate on anything.

Hoot619

I hope you get adjusted to him being in MC. It will take a little time for him to get adjusted too. A great big part of your life at home is changing. The constant worrying about him should lessen some. LO's are the first thing on our mind day in and day out.  Hoot

M1

Sandwich I wish I could tell you it gets easier, but that has not been my experience.

Ed1937

I know emotions run high, and I'm sorry. "He says if I let him come home he won't walk around any more but will stay home and help out, cleaning up." He can make all kinds of promises, but he's not likely to be able to fulfill them. I wish it were easier.

Just Bill

That is what I would have the hardest time with. The why are you leaving me here look. That breaks my heart just thinking about it. He is there for his and your safety and you have to stay focused on your decision being right, but that is heavy.

sandwichone123

Ed, the saddest thing I hear in that promise is an utter misunderstanding of the situation at all. I think he's had some negative interactions out in public, but they had no impact on his placement, vs the "cleaning up" at home that has led to inability to find things and need to rewash items. He is doing his best, and he is such a nice guy that it's heartbreaking.

He still has a good grasp of time and is trying to pin me down as to what day I will bring him home.

Still, it's gone as well as I could have expected.

DJnAZ

My wife is in her 11th week in MC and is adjusting much better than I am. I miss her constantly but know she is safe and secure where she is and I just have to accept her being gone.

Joe C.

Sandwich, I am glad thing are going better than expected for DH & I completely understand your feelings. It has been a little over 9 months since I placed DW and I miss here every day. Yesterday I had her out for the day visiting family and she had a great day but she is fine with returning to the MC, it’s her home now. I wish you the best going forward.