Placement in about an hour

toolbeltexpert

I signed papers brought her stuff in and couldn't go to the room cause they were still cleaning it. But I feel like my life is over. Tee totally drained. I am gonna be there when see arrives so this is short and bitter sweet. If this doesn't work out, I wouldn't do it again. Hoping for the best.

Just Bill

You are doing the right thing TBE. Hang in there. Take some big deep cleansing breaths. They work.

Ed1937

Don't doubt yourself. There is a reason you fought so hard for this. I hope everything goes smoothly for both of you.

MaryG123

Thinking of you TBE.  You can do this!

ImMaggieMae

Stewart, glad you accomplished what you set out to do. Which one did you finally choose? Is it close to home? I hope she will be happy there.

JoseyWales

Thinking of you, and hoping it all goes smoothly. There's no easy in any of this.

jmlarue

Stay strong. There still might still be bumps along the way, but nothing like you've been through these past months. Enjoy your new role as a calm and happy visitor rather than an overwhelmed caregiver. This will get better.

Battlebuddie

I hope the day wasn’t too bad. If you are exhausted it’s understandable. I hope she settles in quickly and it becomes more routine. I’m thinking perhaps once she settles,  you can reclaim some of your life back. You deserve that

Beachfan

Just as you did when DH was home, take it one day at a time.  You can do this, don’t doubt yourself, stay strong and focused.  It will get better.

Dio

TBE, everything will work out! Keep the faith!

I actually envy those of you who can place your LO. I don't think I'll have any problem when the time comes for me to take that next step.

Jo C.

May everything go well.  You have had to work hard to get to this point.  Hang in there and remember as all of us have had to do; not only your wife will have an adaptation period; you will also have one.  I have been there and it does smooth out as all settles in.  So glad you will be able to get some rest without having to run hither and thither under stress and imposed time constraints. 

Let us know how all is going and we will be sending our very best wishes and warmest thoughts your way.

J.

Joydean

Prayers for you and your dear wife Steward!

Buggsroo

Hi Stewart,

Just want to wish you the best. I truly believe that you are getting your life back. I know you are grieving and sad, change is hard but this is for the best.

toolbeltexpert

Thank you everyone. The hour turned to two and a half before she left the geripsych, but once she left, they called so I was there when she got there. Side note, I had brought a bag of towels yesterday that my dw had made to the geripsych, for dw to give out to the nurses, which they helped her to do. I know my wife likes to bless folks with her crafts I had spoken to one of dw favorite nurses and explained what she would have to do to help dw bless them it went off well.  Anyway I had most of her room set up. Of course she got there and the why did you bring my clothes here, how long am I gonna be here questions. But a good long hug fixed that. I hadn't  seen her since the 14th so she was glad to see me. She didn't remember having covid and she still has some plem but otherwise OK. The place isn't far 12 miles. I had supper with her and stayed till after 7, and the sunset on the way home really reminded me of the poem I posted not long ago. It seemed the first time in a long while I felt some peace. Now I am tired and will sleep like a log.

I am glad that part is over. I don't think I could do it again though and I am hoping that this is home now.

I have learned alot in this process, but the work isn't done and neither is the learning. 

I was thinking she's so good maybe I should just bring her home. Then a small twang hit when I showed her a picture on Facebook of someone she wrote in Canada. Oops that was a trigger. 

I quickly recovered. It's funny today is my sister's birthday and dw notice the covid pass taped on my shirt and saw the date and knew who's birthday it was. That's so crazy. I had a calender hanging on her wall that she had filled in and there it was my sisters birthday.  She did that about 50 times while I was there. 

I still have lots to do like get Medicaid approved.  This place does take Medicaid.

Again thanks for everyone's support and advice. 

toolbeltexpert

Buggs thanks,  everybody is wondering how your doing. I don't think I have had half the trouble you have had. I am hoping your doing well.  I thought of you up there in Canada when I was writing my post. I really do enjoy your ability to find some humor in such a hard position.  And you do write very well. Sending great hugs your way.

Scooterr

You've been through a lot Stewart. I hope your DW and you adjust quickly and smoothly to the change. You've done a good job with your wife Stewart, praying for you both.

Marie58

I'm glad you got her settled in and that's she's close to you. I pray you both adjust to this new chapter. Just take it a day at a time. Blessings to you both.

DJnAZ

I'm glad your day went well. Many of us have been there and completely understand what you are going through. Stay strong and know that your wife is safe and secure and in the best place for her. It will get better...for both of you.

Crushed

I placed  DW almost five years ago. For a little less than a year she still knew  who I was. 

But she could not remember where she went to medical school  
Or our children's names 
She never asked to go "home" 
 

AnnMB

TBE, my thoughts go out to you as you have made a hard decisions but probably the right one. I am glad to hear that her arrival at LTC was good as it could be. I'm sure once she is settled in all will go well for her. As you said, you have a lot to do -- legal work, rest, grieve, and get yourself to be her husband again and not her caregiver. 

My DH is in acute care from an episode that has made his Alzheimer's advance. He will remain in the hospital until he is placed in a LTC facility. We don't have a choice where he goes at this time but he can be moved to one of our choices when a bed becomes available. It was a hard choice to make (as was calling 911). My last hard choice is to have DNR (do not resuscitate) on his file. I finally got the phone detached from my ear yesterday. My to-do list is completed and I am waiting for one call from continuing care. I have a new coordinator as I move from community to hospital/LTC. DS is taking care of the lawyer and Legal Aid has taken his case. They want to get charges dismissed and the lawyer is angry the police filed charges due to DH's mental condition. We hope she is successful. I have had one grieving session yesterday as I lost the man, once again, that I've been married to for 51 years.

Do take care of yourself, get lots of rest, cry buckets, pick yourself up, adjust to your new life, and reconnect with friends. Take it one day at a time and remember you did everything you could for your DW that you possibly could have done. These are words that I have been told by professionals who have been so good to me.

Ann

Pam BH

TBE, wonderful news.  I'm so glad things are working out for you and your wife. You've been through things you didn't think you could handle - but did beautifully. Any bumps in the road now you know you can handle Sending many prayers your way for both you and your wife.

Buggsroo

Thanks Stewart,

I feel lucky with this forum, all of you are very nice and I feel comfortable here. Stewart, I know you will get the sleep you need and perhaps some time to do things you enjoy. Sending hugs back.