Today's my birthday

JoseyWales

And it has been a good day.

When I think back to where I was a year ago, it seems more like 10 years have passed. I was trying to balance home life with DH's paranoia, peeing all over the house and not sleeping and the start of a new school year that was crazy busy. I look back and wonder how I did it. 

DH was placed 5 1/2 months ago. School started back up about 3 weeks ago, so I'm busy teaching. But now I have time to talk to co-workers at school, and I have time to prepare for the school day both at school and at home. I am getting a full night's sleep. I'm not getting to work 5 minutes late every day and feeling like I'm in a rush and always behind. Things are kind-of getting done at home, but I don't feel bad about what's not done.

I still visit DH every other day, and it breaks my heart to see how much he's declined. I wrote several weeks ago that he wasn't walking, but after about 5 days he got up again and is back to his normal standing and shuffling. So, back to normal. 

I've started to take care of me, too. The last time I had my bloodwork done early this summer, it came back with some high numbers that weren't high before. Totally related to poor diet in the last year with stress eating, and just stress in general. Since then I've lost 15 pounds and changed my diet. I've also decided to get my teeth straightened with invisaliners (Clear plastic braces). I had braces as a teen, but my teeth had shifted over time and I had become self-conscious over my bottom teeth - especially because my little ones at school would sometimes comment on them. Kids just don't know what not to say. Stupid braces help me with my not snacking. 

It's still really rough at times, and it's lonely at home. But the good days are coming more often. 

Thanks to all of you for being here when I needed you over the last several years.

Gig Harbor

Happy Birthday! It sounds like you have normalcy and balance in your life while at the same time your husband is being well cared for. You have a lot of accomplishments to be proud of is such a short time. I hope this next year is good to you.

Hoot619

Happy Birthday, Glad you are adjusting to your new schedule and still have time to visit your DH.   Things should get a little easier as time goes on.  Hope you have many more. Hoot

Beachfan

 First and foremost, Josie, happy birthday. I have been in your shoes (or maybe it’s the other way around) and I know where of you speak. I am no longer teaching; at 75, I am well into retirement. I completely understand all the small things that you are now able to do that you couldn’t do a year ago and that many people take for granted. Right now I am at the shore. I am alone, but I’m not lonely. My neighbor came by today and we chatted on the porch; I didn’t have to jump up every so many minutes to check on DH or tend to him. Tomorrow, I am going into town for lunch with another neighbor, her sister and her mom. They have asked me to join them on countless occasions over the years, but it just wasn’t feasible.

DH will be in placement one year in November. The time has flown; the time has dragged.  I visit him once a week, I love him with all my heart, I miss him. But I have moved on and he has moved on, for better or for worse. May the good days come more and more often for you, and for me, and for all of us. I think about you often. 

Battlebuddie

What a great report! I so admire the folks here who are trying to do this and work too. It seems like it would be so so hard. 

   My daughter is a teacher , so I know how much time is spent after hours doing prep. I’m so glad for you that you have a little bit more undistracted time to do all that . 

   I hope you have a really good year!  

Dio

Happy Birthday! So glad to hear you're able to have some sort of normal yourself. I look forward to the day I can be there, too.

saltom

Happy Birthday.  Your post has given me some hope and made the day better.  Hope you get to do some special thing for yourself for your birthday.

John1965

Happy Birthday!

You are a strong woman.

Have a great school year!

Joydean

Happy birthday! I hope you did something special for yourself! So very happy for you that you can have a life again. Your students will be happy to have their special teacher back. Keep taking care of yourself and I’m glad your husband is adjusting and is well taken care of. Hope you have many more birthdays to come.

Quilting brings calm

Happy Birthday.  

I’m glad your stress level is down and you are taking better care of yourself.  Don’t worry about getting things done at home.  IIRC, you live in Indiana.  Plenty of time this winter to do things inside the house.  

I don’t know how you did  the last year or two.  As you know, I retired Dec. 2020 partly due  to my parents, and they were in assisted living at the time,  I can’t imagine trying to caregive in my own home and work too. However I think we all put  one foot in front of the other until we can’t. 

Jo C.

Balloons!  Confetti!  Whistles!  Crepe paper streamers!  Cake! Ice Cream! 

Happy, happy birthday wishes being sent your way.

You are giving yourself a lovely gift by being able to do things for your own self again and that is wonderful.  I thank your for your update, it is really great to read.  You have gone such a long way on this journey and continue to be a caring and loving advocate; what a blessing you have been and are.

Now; for the birthday champagne . . .

J.

JoseyWales

Thank you all for the birthday greetings!

Beachfan - We really are in the same shoes. I've thought that before.

I remember about a year after diagnosis wondering how this would ever end. It was impossible to look to the future and see beyond placement. I am still having a problem looking ahead. Just a day at the time right now. 

I feel that I had to keep working through the caregiving, because I need insurance and an income once my caregiving time was through. Heck, I needed an income while caregiving, too! Our son recently turned 22 and has been in college - he also needed insurance. Today I turned 55 - I have at least 10 more years of work. I'm thankful that I managed to keep my job, because I really like where I work and the people I work with. And the little kids. They're the best part of the day.

I'm also reconnecting with friends that I lost touch with over the last few years. It's nice to know they're still there. I thought I was alone, but as I recover I realize that it was probably me who let those connections go because I just didn't have time. They're still around for me now that I have time.

It's not all perfect, but there's hope now. It's so hard to see DH at times, and it seems so unfair that dementia has taken him so young. I go through big ups and downs, and days when I wonder how I'll spend the rest of my life all by myself. This isn't at all what I planned. Today's just an up day. 

Quilting - yep, I'll have plenty of indoor time before long. It's a great state to live in - we live outside as long as we can until we get sick of being outside, then we live inside until we go crazy from inside, only to repeat it all again! I'm going to have to switch out the lawn mowers for the snow blower before long. And I'll put down my chainsaw and get out my sewing machine. I still haven't quilted a thing in the last few years, but I've got a collection of fabric and plenty of ideas!

Buggsroo

Happy birthday Josie from one Virgo to another.

It sounds like you have done really great things for yourself. I am glad you can see your husband, love him and go home to your own life. I wish you a great year ahead.

Quilting brings calm

Josey- I live in central Illinois.  So I am right there with you on the outdoor/indoor repeat cycle. I’m looking forward to seeing your next quilting project. I’m making  my first baby quilt right now.

Ed1937

Whoopee!! Happy Birthday. I'm glad you're getting back to normal. A year ago, you probably didn't think that was possible. Great post!

toolbeltexpert

Gig happy Birthday. I had to sign back in just to say that. It is great that you have moved forward and teachers are so needed. Thanks for what you do!

ImMaggieMae

Happy Birthday, Josey. I hope you had a wonderful day and that the year ahead is everything you want it to be. And glad to hear you’re caring for yourself and taking care of the things you’ve had to put off.

Marie58

Happy Birthday, Josey! And I hope you have a good school year!

Cherjer

Happy birthday, Josey. So glad this birthday is a great one. I am a retired teacher and cannot imagine how stressed you were caring for your dh AND teaching at the same time. Your dh was so  young when diagnosed and that makes everything so hard. So happy you are taking care of yourself! 

Mint

Happy Birthday Josey!

Berryette

Happy birthday, Josey.  ( A little late).  The children are lucky to have you as their teacher!

nancyj194

Happy BirthdayJosey! Birthdays should always be special and yours is.

I wish you many wonderful, memorable days.  

Davegrant

Happy Birthday! Enjoy.

Last Dance

 Happy Birthday May the struggles of life  Pass you by as you celebrate your special Day.     You deserve it. God’s Blessings  to You  Richard   

Scooterr

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ! Josey, sorry I missed seeing your post yesterday. My wife was a teacher and I have a special place in my heart for the teachers. Hope you have a wonderful school year.

French

Josey, I am late but sincerely wish you had a happy birthday. My is on the 28th. I was with my parents and my children have been adorable.it is comforting.

Davegrant

Happy Birthday. Enjoy your special day.

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