A week in Memory Care

Elshack

After rehab in the hospital for his broken ankle, I moved my DH ( 92 ) to the Memory Care section in another bldg from our Independent Living apartment. I knew I could no longer take care of him but have encountered many problems. The staff is very nice but he was there 4 hrs and fell and 2 days later he fell out of the single bed and they took him to the ER. He has a black eye and banged up his arm but was brought back to his MC room. It is a double room but it will stay a single room and has plenty of room.

He has Crohn's and has explosive diarrhea. I had hoped after a week they could know his schedule but today I saw he had poop on the outside of his pull on pants. They said he had gone to the bathroom by himself and when they had asked him if he had to go he had said no. Tonight I got a  call that he picked at his steri strip stitches on his arm and it began bleeding but they took care of it. The hospital sent him to the Memory Care with incorrect meds listed and it has taken me a week to tell them NOT to give him some of those meds. 

It takes me 2 minutes to drive to the next bldg and I visit every day and eat lunch with him and stay for awhile. I do his laundry but told them they would have to wash his sweat pants if he has an accident. They did wash them and they are never to be seen again. They can't locate them.

So this has been a horrible week and even though I know I could not continue to take care of him as I have done for the past 4 yrs. I thought this transition would be easier. He is very sweet natured and even though the staff is very kind I wish they would get their act together and monitor him more closely. In Memory Care you can not have bed alarms and I had his queen sized bed moved down there to replace the single bed. 

I am a wreck and he seems quite content! I need some virtual hugs for sure. I actually had a person ask me if I felt guilty placing him. NO I do not feel guilty as I was at the end of my rope caring for him. I am 82 and have some health problems myself.

Ed1937

Elshack, I am so sorry for what is happening. I would give you an in-person hug if I could. Hopefully things will straighten out soon. Sometimes it takes a little while for everyone to adjust to new situations. Sending good thoughts your way.

M1

Let's hope the second week will be better E.  I know he's fragile and I hope they will be able to handle him without more falls.  Is there a gastroenterologist involved regarding his Crohn's?  I know you mentioned on an earlier thread that there was controversy about giving him Immodium, I hope they still are doing so.  but I would ask GI if there is nothing more that could be done, just for comfort's sake.

Gig Harbor

It is good that he seems content. My husband is going on two months in memory care and he too seems content. I was worried that he would be cognitively ahead of the other residents but he isn’t. I played bingo with a group of residents and all the women played well and he couldn’t grasp the concept at all. He has also had things go missing. I give a list to the staff when I notice something and they keep an eye out for them. Most things have found their way back. I feel guilty because I know that I wouldn’t want to be living there but he seems happy. He never wants to go for a walk outside of the property fences and never asks about home or family. He is truly living in the moment.