Caregiver Concern: What If Something Happens To Me?

Jo C.

Excellent planning information along with some useful links from Family Caregiver Alliance for Caregivers regarding, "What if something happens to me?"  Just keep scrolling down the pages for some really good planning information:

https://www.caregiver.org/resource/what-if-something-happens-to-me/

J.

harshedbuzz

JoC.-

This is a great link. IMO, it should be required reading. 

We, as a family, lived through a worst-case-scenario with my childless widowed aunt. I believe her doting husband planned to "preserve her dignity" (they were very private people) by taking her secret to his grave. Unfortunately, he died first leaving her to muddle through without the cognition to care for herself until her sister found her sitting in a cold, dark house wondering why the cable wasn't working.

I also had this with my parents. Mom was in denial that dad had dementia and nearly died with him as her medical advocate. I checked in daily by phone and got an earful of confabulated craziness from my dad (mom was mean, they were headed for divorce, it's that damned medicine she takes that makes her lazy). I was fortunate that a retired RN friend recognized my mom was in liver failure (mom was the color of a school bus by this point), got her to the ER and had them track me down as an emergency contact. After flying down the next day and talking with her medical team (which clearly recognized dad wasn't reliable as an advocate) I went to their home where I found dad hosting neighborhood happy hour wearing nothing but a towel. 

Things would be so much easier-- especially for the PWD-- if someone was looped in to make sure they're ok.

HB

Iris L.

Not every PWD has someone who will make sure or cares if the PWD is okay.  

Iris

Jo C.

Oh HB; what a stunning set of "happenings."  I can only imagine.  So now I can see how you came by your experiential wisdom you so kindly share with others.

I too think that the recommendations on that link are extremely important for oneself even if NOT incapacitated.    Anything can happen quite unexpectedly and abruptly.

You should see the three page form I have filled out with my medical history, insurance information and contacts and other pertinent information included.  I did the same for my DH of course.   I shall though, use this link to add to the information for us.

Iris; it would be good to make a call to your local Fire Department as well as the Police Department and find out if they have computer programs that they can put in the names, addresses and contact numbers for people who are more at risk as they are older and alone or have special needs.   Many such community departments now do that.

Sometimes, local Senior Centers and churches have programs where the seniors at the center form an ongoing telephone tree; an assigned person calls once per day to ascertain if things are alright. 

Also, having a Life Alert sort of device that can be used in case of an emergency or significant problem issue would also be a good idea if one lives alone and is older or if one has a medical condition warranting such a device. 

There is a Home Services Assn. that provides a variety of different senior services and senior information across multiple cities in LA County including where you live, Iris.  They have multiple Senior Program categories, if you look at the site, just scroll down until you reach the "Senior" category.   They have  Home Based Care and Supportive Services which I think may well be useful.  They are at:  https://www.hsala.org/

Council On Aging, Southern California https://www.coasc.org/

I am not familiar with the Council on Aging, but their website looks interesting for services.

Of course, there are professional, Certified Geriatric Care Managers who one one-on-one can engage and keep up-to-date and meet needs managing all and sundry should a need arise.  It  will cost a bit to have an intake done by a Care Manager, but it may be very helpful for those without family or other close contacts to assist with the myrad of needs.    They can do just about anything, so it is good to know what is available.  The initial link I gave does have their professional organization contact information listed as a helping group.

 I like the idea of having a notebook or folder of some sort to keep such information in; for myself and DH, I would give a copy to our son who lives not far away, but also our daughter who lives out of state, but is a good advocate from afar and she would tend to fly in if there was a significant emergency. 

I think such information is priceless especially if a big unexpected event happens. If one is admitted to a med center as an inpatient and specialsits are called in, a detailed copy of one's medical history with prescription and OTC meds, allergies, surgeries, etc. is priceless and I know from experience that the physicians are delighted and appreciative to have such information at hand. I carried several copies with me when admitted to a hospital and it was SO valuable - far less mistakes, omissions and misunderstandings.

J.

J.

SusanB-dil

Iris - (or anyone interested, of course) check your county resources/website - can key in "wellness" or "wellness check", so even if you do not have anyone you could trust to check on you, they will still do so...   Hopefully, more counties and towns would have this resource.  It even has a way to check-in for yourself if you plan to be gone for a day they would normally call.   and Iris - I care... 

My county has a 'Citizen Well Check' that says this:

If you are, or know, a senior living alone in the County, you need to know about the Citizen Well-Check Program. 

Seniors who participate in this free program are automatically checked on by phone three days a week. An automated call with a prerecorded message will be made at the same time each day. You will hear a message and it will ask for a confirmation by pressing a key. If you can't answer the telephone immediately, the computer will redial your number in an hour. If you do not respond to the second call, it will wait another hour and call again. If you do not answer at this time, a call will be made to the person you designate as a contact person. If the contact cannot be reached, the Sheriff's Office will dispatch a deputy to the Member's residence to determine if he or she is okay.

Iris L.

Jo C and Susan B, thank you for these added informations.  Our Police Dept does have a Senior Corps to check on seniors, although I have never contacted them.  These groups usually want a family member to contact.  I have no family member to contact.  My neighbor who I usually list as my contact is hard of hearing and in poor health herself.  I have not had good experience with geriatric care managers.  I have to figure out something soon because I am on the cusp of a catastrophe.

I did photocopy the article and downloaded a pdf for information from that website, so I can add to my own notebook.  I started an emergency notebook years ago but I didn't have much to put in it.

Iris

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Iris L.

Thank you, Victoria.  Hiring a fiduciary has been in the back of my mind.  I don't know if their job description includes putting chaos into order, or just taking over what already is in order.  I am working on getting out of chaos now.

Iris

Michael Ellenbogen

MMy wife and I put things in place to keep  the greedy folks from getting  things and to help my person who will take care of me with all they need. And if something  happens to all of us some organization's  will be rich.

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