Scammers in the family

Judide65

I am completely blown away! I have spent almost all year getting my EO LO finances in order (yes I have POA) only to find scammers in the family!!!  They want to "borrow" money from my EO LO for their own personal use....OMG.  I thought the scammers on the web were awful.  Her own family is trying to take her money!  

I am disappointed and pissed off.  I find this activity repulsive in every way.  We have talked about her medical and financial needs.  Everyone was in agreement about the course of action.  Now this. 

I really need to figure out how to stop this.  Any suggestions?  

TIA

harshedbuzz

J65-

I am so sorry you are dealing with this.

Alas, there will be certain family members who see this as an entitlement or a chance to reap an inheritance before it's all spent on her care. 

It is imperative that you shut this down asap. Any financial shenanigans could disqualify her from Medicaid as a safety net because of the Five-Year-Lookback which would have dire consequences for her, you as her POA (you have a duty to prevent this) and those who care for her.

You need to shut off access. That means your sister cannot have access to her funds- no credit cards and no checks. If she has a debit or ATM card, see if you can limit the amount she can access or sweep most of the funds into an account she can't access. You need to freeze her credit with the 3 major monitoring companies which will prevent her from taking out a loan or co-signing for anyone else. This can be done online and you will be given a code to unfreeze it if you need to. 

Once you have taken steps to shut things down, I would explain to these people how you are legally obligated to preserve her assets and keep her eligible for Medicaid. You'll probably find that turning off the funds makes your DS less attractive and more isolated socially which is very sad. When I was in your position, I kept the worst offender away from my parents (she was in prison part of that time which helped). 

I am sorry you have to do these things.

HB

eaglemom

That is so disappointing to find out. Of course your mad, that is only natural. What you need to do it to take a step back and a couple of deep breaths. Everything that HB suggested is spot on. You will turn into the 'bad' guy. And that's fine because your protecting your LO's assets. Stop everyone's access to all accounts immediately. Freeze the credit cards. Shame on them.

eagle

Michael Ellenbogen

 There is nothing worse than family scammers as I have many in mine. If its not to late I would make sure she is aware of it and rewrite the will if she has one to get even with those folks. That is what they deserve, Nothing.

Iris L.

Stop talking about your LO's finances with the scammers.  What you're seeing is not uncommon.  "Why can't I have her money? She isn't using it!"  This is how they think.

Iris

SusanB-dil

Hi Judide65 - 

Oh, we have found that on-line and phone scammers have nothing on family scam, I mean sc*m...

Too bad we trusted an evil family member and her daughter, cost our LO and us a LOT because of scam and because of what they did.  Think of 6-figures lot. Still dealing and reeling with the cr*p that went down!!  

Yes - watch her finances. Watch your back. And batten down the hatches, so to speak.

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dayn2nite2

Fairly common.  Scammers actually have a sixth sense for vulnerable people and they're onto them well before family is aware or discovers things or money missing.

Until you lock them out of any ability to get money or items, they will continue.

joseph58

I discovered exactly the same situation, it was my younger brother doing this to my father, my mother, and an uncle he had living in the house. 

His scheme went like this: get POA over each person and add your name to their bank account; while they are alive let their pension and Soc. Sec checks accumulate in the account; when they eventually pass, clear the money out.

He has taken a lot. My father is still alive, and I went thru the bank account statements for 2021 and found a total of over $16,000 in cash withdrawals. When I asked my brother about this he just shrugged his shoulders. An additional $115,000 was withdrawn back in 2019, apparently used to purchase a piece of raw land and a vehicle.

That's just from my father. He had taken additional 10s of thousands, prob. 100k in total, from our mother and the uncle. He also conveniently added himself (only) on the house here, which is paid off. I had his name removed last April, still waiting for the new Deed. 

When I contact the banks, they just tell me "He has POA, it may not be correct behavior, but it is not illegal". 

What a system. NEVER give full POA to someone. 

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Michael Ellenbogen

joseph58 – I agree I would go after him for ever penny. People like that will do this to someone else as all their care about is themselves. 

joseph58

Thank you.

No, my Mom is gone 10 years and the uncle passed in 2018. I'm not going to try and recover anything, have enough to deal with as it is. 

Just protecting what my father has left and his house to the best of my ability.

Going after my brother is pointless. He was allowed to stay home his whole life, they felt sorry for him, pampered him, in the end he wanted that to continue and so he embarked down this fraudulent path. 

Worst part is, he squandered the money and made foolish decisions; boats, expensive drum kits, schemes to make money that never pan out, trusting people that never should have been trusted. 

Just a foolish and stupid life he lived. 

Lindsay22

This happened to me too when I was helping with my aunt's affairs.  Before I had POA and before she was in MC I discovered that my cousin was coming to my aunt for repeat "loans".  This cousin knew our aunt had Alzheimer's and wasn't able to manage on her own anymore.  When we took the keys from my aunt after she got in an accident due to confusion my cousin tried to keep the car for herself.  When I was selling her home after we moved her into MC the real estate agent called to ask me where the appliances were as they were supposed to be included in the sale.  My cousin had taken them.  I was, of course, outraged and disgusted with my own family member so I feel your pain.