Behavior Changes

Carol.T

My partner/best friend lives with me due to her Alzheimer's.  She is going into moderate level. Lately, she is getting snarky, starting fights, and tonight, was screaming furiously at me because I spoke a truth instead of staying in her fantasy. I am still learning how to do that. 

Now, at 1 a.m., she is storming around slamming doors, screaming at me, yelling that she is leaving this house. She has no where to go. 

I am hitting the wall. How do people handle this? I'm at a dead loss. Could use some help.

Thanks.

Carol T. 

Rochester NY 

Iris L.

More members will respond in the morning.  But you have to meet her at her reality.  She has anosognosia and is not aware of having Alzheimer's Disease.  Also, it appears she is sundowning.  Learn about this and other terms.  As for now tell her that you will go with her in the morning, but you both have to stay here tonight.  Make up a nice story about why.  This is called a therapeutic fib, or a loving lie.  Don't fight--she lives in another reality now.

Iris L.

Ed1937

Carol, you said "I spoke a truth instead of staying in her fantasy. I am still learning how to do that. " Maybe I'm wrong, but it sounds to me like you want to "be right". At this point in the game, you have to ask yourself if being right is more important than having a working relationship. There is an awful price to pay to be right. Apologize to her, tell her you'll work together on any problems to overcome them, and come across as a caring individual. Your reality is a thing of the past. Hers is where you have to live.

M1

Carol, do you hold her powers of attorney?  I hope so, because you are likely going to need them if you need to change her living situation.  You certainly should have the authority if you are bearing all the responsibility.