Phone Calls

jdawg206

If you had a parent with AD that is making multiple phone calls to friends and family on an hourly basis (and these are brief calls, pleasant and conversational, but they do ask the same questions that were asked previously) how would you respond?  Do you disconnect the landline?  Do you try to establish a boundary (do not call hours)?  Looking for creative problem solving here as our friends and family are taking to blocking our phone number.

Pathfinder52

All of your own suggestions might work, but you might also want to look at what this behavior is telling you about that person's need for conversation, connection and maybe even his/her level of anxiety.

Friends and family will walk away soon enough -- that's a common experience when the cognitive losses are too challenging for them to deal with (everyone's breaking point is different). No need to give them reasons now to block your number's calls or choose not to answer calls from that number.

Consider the need for conversation & connection -- daycare could help, as could visiting a memory cafe, there are support groups that either include the person with dementia or offer respite while the caregiver is in the meeting.  It seems to me that too much phone use (repeatedly to the same people) is a message of loneliness.

Anxiety may require medication (certainly a medical consult can be valuable, whether meds are needed or not). But sometimes, just having people around, someone to talk to or familiar faces can reduce anxiety without meds.

Wishing you all the best.

--p

jdawg206

Thank you.  I appreciate the insights and yes, there are some plans soon afoot to hopefully get her active (yet in a controlled, safe environment like an adult daycare).

Rescue mom

Setting “boundaries” rarely works, or won’t work long, because they don’t remember any boundaries were set. (If she doesn’t remember earlier calls or questions, then boundaries are unlikely). I would look at disconnecting/unplugging the landline, however long and which hours are best. (I assume others in the house have cellphones). And yes, she may well be bored.