M1 again

Ed1937

The last time I remember you visiting your wife was on Sep. 2. Just wondering if you have been back since then, and if so, how did it go?

Joydean

Ed I think M1 was going to see his wife Friday.

toolbeltexpert

I am glad he has been able to visit. I would be a basket case. A week out because of covid seemed like forever. I guess now I understand now when he would say it seemed like forever and I thought the time flew by. 2 months would be a lifetime

M1

well I am so happy to have good things to report, finally:  I just got back from my fifth visit in two weeks (Tuesday and Friday, twice) and today her great nephew, who is 29, drove three hours to go with me.  She was thrilled to death to see him, and all five visits have been  successful--staying over a hour (today nearly two).  I've taken lunch on Tuesdays and have gone early after lunch on Fridays, as we did today--I made a pumpkin pie this morning and took it with us, so that was a good post-lunch dessert.

So things seem to have definitely turned a corner, that she is glad to see me each time. I'm not sure she remembers any of the visits--each time she says she's ready to leave and come be with me--but clearly has no memory of the farm at all, asks where I'm living, is there room for her there.  What's worked (so far, and I will continue to use it as long as I can) is to remind her that she was sicker than she realized, that the doctors and nurses weren't ready to release her yet, and she just got out of quarantine.  She accepts this, though she comes back to it continually, but what is different now is that she will actually relax, enjoy the visit, and talk about other things.  Today with her nephew there--she is currently supporting him to attend community college in a three-year program--what worked was to talk about her college days, although interestingly, I am the one who had to tell the stories, she remembers them when she hears them, but she can't bring them up herself like she once would have.  Friday when I went, we talked about Queen Elizabeth and the British monarchy--she clearly enjoyed it, but she also asked at one point if Queen Victoria was still alive.

So I hope the "for now" routine will continue to be Tuesday and Friday visits.  It pretty much fills the day, and I don't think I could manage more often, really--it's at least a 45-minute drive each way.  But maybe, maybe, it will be a new normal for a little while.  March to September was a long, long spell that was pretty bleak.

Thanks for asking, guys.

Joydean

Oh M1 thank you for sharing! I know your heart has to be feeling just a little better. That she can enjoy your visit and can laugh and tell you she loves you!  So much more than you’ve had in such a long time. Happy for both of you! 

Quilting brings calm

Great news M1!   Hopefully it continues.  Maybe after a few more weeks, she will quit asking to go ‘home’ as often.   I don’t know where you live. If it gets cold in the  winter, start emphasizing how great it is that everything she needs is all right there.

Battlebuddy

That’s so wonderful to hear! I’m glad the drought is over, and she can just enjoy at least some part of the visit. It sounds like soon you will be following in Crushed”s footsteps and regularly bringing home baked treats. Good for You M1

Ed1937

I can't tell you how good I feel about reading your post. You have definitely turned a corner. I'm thrilled!

Jeff86

That’s really terrific news, M1.  So glad things are so improved.

Jo C.

M1, I am so very happy for you in that the visits have finally begun to turn around; what a delight after such a difficult time.

Great idea the conversation springboards, she must really enjoy them in the moment.  Here's cheering for more really good visits and really good pies!

J.

saltom

So glad for you the visits are positive.  It was a pleasure to read your post.

jmlarue

It sounds like you both are on a winning streak. May it never end.

Faith,Hope,Love

Fantastic!  I'm so happy for you M1.  The pumpkin pie is a terrific idea.  You're making me hungry, and I just might need to make one.

Joe C.

M1, This is a great development. I very happy to hear that you can finally visit and spend some time with your partner.

toolbeltexpert

M1 I am so happy you can feel the embrace of your wife.

M1

Yes this is definitely an improvement.  Went today for lunch.  She clearly did not remember my being there with her nephew two days ago, and for the first time today, she couldn't identify her sisters either by name or by relationship--asked who their parents were.  So things are continuing to slip, unsurprisingly.  I wonder about the recent covid infection and whether/how this is related. Kind of a moot point, but I still wonder.  I got my omicron booster today and boy is my arm sore--that was today's reason for ending the visit.  I am grateful for this new normal, while it lasts.

Gig Harbor

The facility my husband is in mentioned that the residents who developed Covid seemed to have worse cognition after it was over. My husband has never mentioned going home. He goes for a bus trip every week but I haven’t taken him out for rides. I brought him a milkshake and 10 minutes later I asked him if he enjoyed it he had no idea what I was talking about. How much effort should one put into having them enjoy something when all knowledge of said activity is gone within 10 minutes. I never really thought about this being an issue but it does make me feel guilty for not doing more. M1 I am glad that you can now visit with your wife. Do you have trouble filling the hour with things to talk about? I don’t want to mention our dog or our home so the conversation is hard.

abc123

M1, this news has absolutely made my week! I'm very happy for you both! I hope & pray it continues!

abc123

I just read your second post about her memory slipping. I am sorry to hear that.