I’m sad today

MaryG123

I know these are little things, but it makes me sad to see my DH declining.  Yesterday he admitted that he was having trouble using his kindle, of which he’s had several over the last 15 yrs. or so.  Then in the afternoon I found him eating raw cookie dough out of the freezer.  I got angry and he was so embarrassed.  He’s never had the best impulse control, but it’s definitely getting worse.  We’ve had our ups and downs over 44 yrs. of marriage, and would be divorced had I not thought he couldn’t manage in this complicated world alone.  But he’s been my best friend since I was sixteen, makes me laugh almost every day, and we still have fun together.  One day this week we rented e bikes and rode across the bridge to a nearby island for lunch.  It was a lovely day.  Thank you all for being here.

jfkoc

Each loss, be it small or large, seems to bring grief with it. This journey is laden with loss and the journey is long. 

Sharing here has always helped me...glad it is helpful to you too.

A bike ride to an island? You must live in a very special place. 

Ed1937

"Then in the afternoon I found him eating raw cookie dough out of the freezer.  I got angry"

Please don't get angry over something like that. It's not his fault. It's hard to see them lose things they've always had, but you have to pick your battles. When something like that happens, ask yourself if getting angry will help the situation. It just doesn't help, and makes things harder for both of you. I'm sorry you have to deal with this.

JJ401

Today is sad day here too. DH is declining, I won’t do the airport with him alone, but I found a locally leaving short bus trip. It was to a place we’ve been to before that he enjoys. We were leaving next week. I was so excited. Yesterday it was cancelled.

We had new doors put in. The painter was supposed to come today. He called on his way to get a Covid test. He feels awful and his coworker tested positive. So we wait.

DH lives in the moment. When I told him the trip was cancelled, he just said ok (with no emotion). He doesn’t remember that the doors are to be painted, so them unpainted won’t bother him. 

I just miss the life we had. 

Iris L.

Mary, now is the time to lock away cleaning compounds--he might try to drink bleach.  The foul taste won't stop him.

Iris 

toolbeltexpert

Mary I am so glad you got to do the ebike thing, that sounds fantastic. You will have plenty of times to learn how to do things better. I made a cardinal sin yesterday. I worked hard, and hadn't eaten when I went to see dw. And my hangry showed right thru. I ate some food and manage a good afternoon. One day,hour minute at a time. Thanks for sharing your victory.