An Update(1)

White Crane

Last week I wrote that DH was getting very upset when I leave and a caregiver comes to stay with him.  It was getting so bad that I was thinking about giving up going out and dropping out of the few things I still enjoy doing with friends.  Thankfully, our daughter is here this week and she reminded me that I need time away.  And after reading your responses, I messaged DH neurologist and asked for help.  He said to give him an extra dose of seroquel when a caregiver is coming.  That did help some this week.  I was able to leave for a couple of hours and have lunch with friends.  He still was very unhappy but did not throw a fit like the last time.  So for right now that is where we are.  The agency providing the caregivers is short staffed right now so they cannot guarantee sending the same caregiver each time.  This is a problem but there isn't anything I can do about it.  So for right now I journey on.  Thank you all for being here.

Brenda

Ed1937

I'm glad you are finding a way to get away for a while. That is a necessity. As time goes on, he will probably become more used to having caregivers around, and it won't bother him like it is now. I wish you luck.

Faith,Hope,Love

That's great White Crane!  I'm going to be dealing with the same problem.  I visited my PCP yesterday and he said I need to start getting out for a few hours a week.  He said he's seeing caregivers' fatigue in me.  I know DH won't want somebody coming into the house and I'm not even sure what I'd do with some extra time on my hands.  But, you've given me an idea regarding and extra dose of seroquel.  I think I'll call his neurologist and see what he thinks about that idea.  Thanks for posting!!

Jo C.

Brenda, glad you can get out a bit without as much angst happening.  That eventually does pass, but it seems to be part of the longest part of the dementia dynamics.  So hope this behavior simmers down as he gets used to the care person and the med kicks in. Let us know how it goes.

J.

M1

Glad that's working Brenda, it was a good suggestion.  That was also how I limped through the weekend after my partner threatened me (Friday afternoon) and until I could get her seen on Monday.  If he responds well to it, you may find that he needs a permanent dose increase.  Keep us posted, every little bit helps

Joydean

Brenda, thank you for sharing, and I would count that as a win!  Happy his doctor came through for you. You need time with your friends to help keep you grounded. 

When we first got a caregiver come in my dh didn’t like it either, but I told him it was easier and quicker for me to go to grocery store and I would get him his ice cream. Which I did and that helped.  I wasn’t sure what else I would do with a little time for myself but I sometimes just go to stores and walk around. Even that helps. 

Hope you can keep your time with your friends. 

ImMaggieMae

Brenda, my DH put up no resistance to his present caregiver. We didn’t make a big deal of it ahead of time and she’s pretty low key. There are several agencies around here that we could use, some a ways away, but they have people that live nearby. It isn’t a bad idea to have a home consultation with more than one in case you run into a time where you need more hours or your present caregiver would move or quit the agency.

It’s definitely nice to have someone here for 4 hours when I need to do errands or have medical appointments. Or sometimes just to take a nap.

Battlebuddy

    Good to hear from you White Crane. 

  I’m glad you are pushing through the resistance to caregivers. It’s so important to get out of the house even if it’s just to Target. The change of venue is so great for us mentally. I just went for a mile walk and it felt so great to be walking in the fresh air. 

   The extra Serequel is a good idea .