things seem to be going downhill

caberr

DH is in an enhanced care facility.  Price is crazy but he needs to be there.  He's unable to walk.  He is getting more and more agitated.  Hospice reminded the nurse yesterday he needs to get his meds on a regular basis before he gets agitated.

Yesterday he was so mad at me he said he hated me. He is still thinking I have boyfriends.  If ALZ makes you forget, why is it he can't forget this?!?  When he calmed down, he told me he loves me.  I took him outside for a bit.  Got back to his room put on music and he was singing(?) and happy so I left. 

I know it is not him saying these things, but it sure does hurt.  Sometimes I really think he knows what is going on.  Other times he has no clue.  How long can this go on?  He is healthy otherwise but how long can his body handle all the agitation? 

Hospice says we need to keep him comfortable and now focus on me.  They put in an order for a volunteer (depending there is one available) to sit with him at least once a week so I can take a break. 

I have a long weekend coming up out of state in October and looking forward to going

M1

caberr, are you hearing that he's agitated when you're not there?  Are you going every day?  That can be a bit much for almost anyone....

dayn2nite2

If you are going every day or even every other day, I would start going once a week and only for an hour or so for a while during this phase.

There are some spouses here who have been triggers for that type of agitation and if that is the case for you, the key is visiting less or not at all until the LO settles into their environment more.  It can take some months.

Ed1937

Caberr, I could have written much of what you said. My wife told me many times she hated me. And she thought I had a girlfriend. But on the day she died, she repeatedly told me she loved me. It really never bothered me when she told me she hated me. I just told her I loved her more than she hated me. This disease is horrible. I'm sorry you are dealing with this now. Please find a way to stay away from there until you can get to the point where you feel a little better. You need that time.

Hoot619

Caberr, In the last 3 months that is somewhat how my wife has been, she gets agiated when she sees me most of the time.  I had been spending most of my time in my bedroom watching her on camera. When she was ok I could sit with her.

In the hospital now I visit a very short time, when she is awake and gets upset I leave. Hoot

caberr

The agitation has gotten worse and not only when I'm there.  He is getting his meds on a more regular basis now but it doesn't always work.

I've been told he is agitated when I am not there.  When I go in he seems so content.  He looks at me and seems happy to see me but then starts in on the boyfriends (although I have no clue who any of these people are).  He is hard to understand but starts shouting out names.  He has been spitting a lot!  I take him for walks but when that starts I have to take him back into his room. 

I do go in most days.  I'm exhausted.  When I got there today he seemed happy and said "I love you".  I gave him a kiss and said the same.  Then it started.  I did a few little things went over gave him a kiss on his head said I love you and walked out.  I don't know if that was right but I am so tired and it is hard to listen this.  Sometimes I think it would be easier if he just forgot who I am.  I have a cousin in neurology and she says thinking there's an affair is some syndrome and is very common.  She also said it's either that or they forget who you are.  This has been her experience with ALZ.   

I know it is not him but the ALZ.  Doesn't really make it hurt less.

toolbeltexpert

Caberr I get the"so do you have a side woman or a girl friend" when I tell her nope she's the one and only then she apologizes.  But it is frequent.

caberr

toolbeltexpert..yes that happens to me as well.  He says (not all the time) he's sorry.