Update and new questions

Mikela

I haven't posted in a while.  Some good news though.  It is official.  Dad now has a temporary guardian of estate and his person appointed by the court until the permanent hearing in February.  Bills will be taken care of, and he is to go to an IME also required by the court.  In the last hearing, I was given some new information and I don't know how to process it.  Stepmother has indicated they needed food and adult diapers.  She is borrowing money from a group of nice neighborhood Christian ladies and indicated she is taking donations from a church and a local food bank.  She is working and not reporting it to the court.  I can only conclude it is to support her 40-year-old unemployed daughter whom my dad has supported for the past 15 years and lives with them.  Dad requires 24/7 care and is left alone for hours at a time.  When this process first started, unbeknownst to me, my brother gave Stepmother an open credit card to pay for necessities like food and utilities etc.  She has refused to use it.  She has also blocked any family members from seeing, calling and speaking with Dad so we can't actively help.  She has also actively blocked court appointed guardians and attorneys.  I haven't been able to see or speak to my father since the Father's Day before last.  Dad doesn't know he has a new grandchild due in December.  Stepmother leaves out anything that doesn't fit her "his kids are greedy bastards" narrative.  We tried a trust from the beginning with everything going into it to support her and Dad and any remainder after death going to her daughter and Dad's grandchildren.  None to us his children.   

Back in 2021, us siblings stepped into this when both Stepmother and Dad's bills were bouncing, and a scammer had access to the main bank account.   Estimate $146k lost.  Stepmother also failed to call 911 when Dad fell and hit his head.  I found out 5 days later.  I am literally 5 minutes away.  After the dementia diagnosis, she had Dad sign a new will, new poa (she gets everything) and had him deed his house to her losing his homestead exemptions.  When he was still okay, the running family joke was Dad's revenge would be to leave us kids his 2 acres of junk/crap.  He also told us to make sure to take care of stepmother which is what we've been trying to do.  

I hate the idea that Stepmother's actions are taking from others in actual need.   I delivered adult diapers anonymously recently and also advised to text me if needed anything else.  I just needed to know what was needed.  I left a google number as Stepmother has not been responding to my actual cell and has it blocked.   I got a very thankful text when she thought it was from her Christian lady friends.  I was a saint and so wonderful until I asked to remain anonymous and now, I am the worst POS ever and getting hateful, nasty texts from multiple numbers and now threats.   Is there a civil way to react to this?  Or just ignore and pray for a good, permanent outcome with the courts?  

Mikela in Texas

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Mikela

We do have a really good elder law attorney who filed a lis pendis on the home and his retirement is tied up by Edward Jones needing clarification on Dad's competency.   They are more than willing to transfer to the court-appointed guardian of the estate to get it off their hands.   We are on guardian of the person #2 who has managed to get in to meet with Dad and Stepmomma two times out of six tries.   The first one resigned after a week.  I only know about the job because Stepmother submitted a budget and income to the court and left her income off as part of the household.  She only included my Dad's SS amount.  I had heard it before from my aunt and a few family friends they were soliciting money from.  This week is the first time a guardian of the estate has been hired.   We will probably meet with him in the next week or 2 to give him background.  The last story I heard was from the court-appointed guardian of the person was that he pulled in the driveway at the same time stepmother did returning from somewhere.  She drove into the garage and locked down the house and refused to answer the phone or door.  She was screaming at him thru one of the windows facing the front porch, "we don't want a guardian, GO AWAY!!"  Dad called him angry after he left the house, and the guardian mentioned you could hear Stepmother in the background coaching Dad. 

I am very hopeful with the assigned judge as she humored my dad in the last hearing even when he got confused.  His attorney put him on the stand, and it only highlighted my dad's condition.  Dad was even yelling at his attorney.    Dad made a point to question the judge about a non-existent issue at the end of it.  The judge all but apologized for the stress him and his family are going thru.  The judge also made provisions that dad and stepmother can be relocated/provided to alternative housing if it becomes necessary.  

This whole situation is just so very frustrating, and I just don't' know what will happen next.   Just a matter of kicking the can down the road a little further.  Sigh.